I have been dwelling on God’s Wisdom and Understanding over the last few days.. on how higher His wisdom is than ours.. on how higher His thoughts and capabilities are over ours.. and I am filled with wonder.. I am filled with wonder and awe and humility.. and more importantly I am filled with the desire to give Him my utmost, in every aspect, all the time..
I came across this article on the web and I wanted to share it. I am posting this here with acknowledgments and Thanks to the author Jim.
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Faith: Choosing God's wisdom over our own ideas.
The Holy Bible is a great treasure of wisdom and truth about God, about life, and about eternity. For example, consider the following words of spiritual and practical wisdom:
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5)
If you have a little trouble absorbing the meaning of older English, then look at the same passage in a newer translation: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight." (Proverbs 3:5, NRSV)
The whole attitude of faith in God is one of trusting when things make little or no sense to our own way of thinking. As human beings, we have ideas and a certain kind of understanding about how the world should work. Our understanding comes from the ways we happen to perceive things, and from the experiences we have.
But only God knows how all things truly work together. If we see a man walking atop a storm-tossed sea, we are shocked and maybe frightened. As we understand the universe, such things are impossible. But nothing is impossible with God, who knows all things and gives accurate meaning and reality to all of life. The perspective that God has is superior to our own.
When God says that a thing is true, then we can and should believe it, no matter how impossible or strange it might seem to us. When God calls us to a certain way of life and to a certain path of faith, we need to listen to that call and obey the Lord — even if it makes little or no sense at all to our rational minds. Why? Because God knows what is real and true about human nature, about life on earth, and about eternity itself.
The Bible, in many places, encourages us to believe God, to walk by faith, to be true to whatever God is saying — even when the whole world seems to be opposing God's message. The Bible makes it clear that God's ways and thoughts are better than ours. In fact, it says that very thing.
Through the ancient prophet Isaiah, God said: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8,9)
Does it really matter?
But why bother with faith, anyway? Why not just do the best we can to understand and grapple with life? Certainly there must be a reward for those who are willing to fight their way through every obstacle, every difficulty and unsolved problem? If God is watching us, will He not think more highly of us when He sees our grim determination to rage right back at the storm, to take matters into our own hands, and to do whatever we must do to get to the top of the hill? Who needs faith, if we're willing to fight for what we want?
Reality isn't always what we might have expected. And the truth is, God does not reward stupidity.
There is a place and a time for human ability. I should do whatever is truly in my power to do. I'm able to produce a cup of coffee if I have all the things needed to do so. I'm able to earn a paycheck if my back and legs and hands — and brain — are in reasonable functioning condition. But I can't save my soul from destruction on my own. And I cannot, on my own, find a way to clear my life of sins already committed and from sins that I might commit today or tomorrow. I cannot buy or earn God's favor. All alone, I cannot change my own destiny. But I can choose not to accept a destiny I'm headed toward today.
I don't know the way to heaven. So I must follow the One who can take me there.
The Bible says that our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is more valuable than purest gold. It's valuable because it brings us new hope and real joy today. And it's valuable because it also prepares us for life in the eternal state that will follow this present earthly existence. In fact, the apostle Peter wrote, saying it this way: "for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." (1 Peter 1:9)
The "saving of a soul" may not sound like a thing of great importance to the ears of our present culture. But you should know that a soul is a life. In the Bible, God is talking about rescuing our very lives from eternal destruction.
Human life as it really is.
We have the entire Old Testament, which is the larger portion of the Bible, to give us a history of humans doing what human beings do. Seen through the eyes of mere men, human life may appear very noble and worthy at times. But when seen through the eyes of God, we soon discover that we all fall short. Even the greatest heroes of the Bible fall short of perfect wisdom and nobility of heart and purpose. The Bible reveals that we're all sinners. We all need God's help.
Only one hero stands above human sin, human failure, human pettiness of heart and purpose. That one perfect hero was the Messiah of God, the Anointed One, the Everlasting Father and the Prince of peace. Today we call Him the Christ, the very Son of God. His name is Jesus.
A better perspective.
Because God can always see all things as they really are, He knew in eternity past — before the universe was even created — that we would get into so much trouble with sin that not one of us would be able to get clear of it again. And God might have decided to just not bother with creating us at all. Or He could have decided to make us without a will of our own. But even a dog has a will. What God chose to do, however, was to save us. He went ahead and created us with the ability to think, to reason things out, and the ability to choose. He also made us capable of exercising faith. Human beings have the ability to believe in what they cannot see or fully understand.
God also gave us His own Son.
For many centuries before Jesus was born, God was giving promises and glimpses of the salvation to come — a growing reason to hope. And then at the proper time, Jesus was born, entering human history. Jesus lived His life as a human being. And during the last three years or so of His earthly life, He proclaimed His message and He worked His wonders. Then, just as He had foreseen, Jesus was taken by force and nailed to a Roman cross, and there He died for the sins of all people. And after that, on the third day, Jesus overcame death, walking out of His grave to take His rightful place again at the Father's right hand.
Yet we walk by faith.
None of us who live today were around when these things took place. You and I were not there, in eternity past, when God foresaw human sin and determined our salvation. We were not there when Jesus was born or when He died on a cross. We were not there when He walked out of the grave, or when He later began to rise up into the sky, ascending into the very heavens, to take His place again at the right hand of God the Father.
All these things we must take by faith. We must all choose to either believe God and His message in Scripture, or to reject God and His offer of salvation by faith in Jesus Christ. There is no middle ground. It is a spiritual thing. We respond in faith to God's Spirit, which speaks to us through the gospel of Jesus Christ, or we reject that Holy Spirit, choosing to continue with our own way of thinking.
The same kind of thing is true for the Christian believer in every phase of life, and in every difficulty we face. We either choose to trust in God, following His wise and perfect counsel, obeying Him in the situations we face, or we choose to fall back into doing things our own way — doing "the best we can" with what we can see and understand. I think every believer has done a little of both. When we choose each day to walk by faith, we end up happier. God's blessings rest more fully on the faithful believer, because the sins of unbelief and disobedience are not there to hinder.
Life as a cup.
Think of your life as a cup. God is pouring out His blessings to anyone who will hold their cup under the flow. Unbelief tells us that we should be able to do whatever we want with the cup. After all, it's our cup. And unbelief also tells us that it's too dangerous to go and stand where God tells us to stand, or to hold our cup where God promises that the blessings will flow. But faith listens to God and follows whatever direction He gives. The result of unbelief is an empty cup most of the time. (We may accidentally wander under the flow once in a while.) But the result of faith is a cup that overflows with God's richest blessings — day after day, never ending.
God's message and intent.
The message of God in our generation is simple and clear and relevant: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, not leaning on your own way of thinking. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct (or straighten) your paths. (See Proverbs 3:5 & 6.)
God knows what He's doing. God tells the truth about what He's doing. God invites all of us to share in what He's doing. The choice is ours to make. To follow God requires faith because we can't always see the outcome from where we stand right now. The result of such faith in God is deep and lasting joy, and the rich blessings of God that will never end.
Does it still seem a little confusing?
Is it still unclear as to what God is calling us to do today? Well, God has made it very easy to choose the right path. (In fact, the Bible says that even a fool can't go wrong on the path of God's choosing.) To choose God's way, simply choose to follow Jesus Christ.
Jesus said of Himself: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." (John 14:6) That says to me that our first and best choice is to follow Jesus. He is the way to God, the primary and central truth of God, and the very life of God being offered to all people. He is the way of salvation. He is the way to God's best blessing today. He is the choice I should make every day.
Jesus said more about these things (for example, see John 8:12 & 12:46), but the main idea is that we learn from God to trust in Jesus (John 6:44,45) and that we then follow Jesus in order to know God's will and do it each day. God does not simply tell us to "make good choices" and to do the right thing. He gives us Jesus as the Shepherd and Teacher we need every day.
The Old Testament in the Bible shows us a lot of what people do wrong, even when they really want to know and serve God. The New Testament of the Bible shows us what it means to be true followers of Jesus Christ. The New Testament is the story of Jesus' own behavior and teachings, and also the full message of how the Christian faith should be lived out each day. Read it all and read it often. You will always be discovering new lessons and new help for your own life.
Follow Jesus. Trust in Him. Pay attention to His message and teaching. Spend time learning from the Bible the lessons and examples God offers us for daily life. And spend time gathering with other Christians who truly believe God and who've determined to follow Jesus.
What about today? Is there any help for where we are right now?
Today, when you have a choice to make, take the path of faith instead of the path of unbelief. Commit your ways to the Lord. Trust Him with everything. He will then give you sound wisdom and good instruction for your life. And you will be happier and greatly blessed.
As the Bible says: Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and don't simply rely on your own ability to understand. God has ways of doing things that you cannot see or comprehend. He will take care of the things committed to His care.
Trust in Jesus.
Jim
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Friday, August 27, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Who You Are In The Spirit
By Andrew Wommack
If I were to ask you "Do you know who you are?" your immediate answer would be, "Of course I do." But can you imagine what it would be like if suddenly you lost all memory of your name, where you lived, who was your husband or wife, your children, where you worked, etc? It would be terrifying. There is an enormous security in knowing who you are. That is the reason people are so reluctant to change. They are secure in what they know and very fearful about what they do not know.
Well, it is also a necessity that you know who you have become in your spirit. You are a new creature in your spirit (2 Cor. 5:17), and you have to reeducate your mind to think that way before the perfect will of God will be made manifest in your flesh (Rom. 12:1-2). We are more than conquerors through Christ, but we won't benefit from that truth until we convince ourselves of it, no more than a millionaire would benefit from their bank account if they didn't know it was there. This is the condition that the body of Christ has been in. We have simply been ignorant of who we are in Jesus (in our spirits) and of the rights and privileges that are ours.
An example of this in the natural is our freedom as Americans. According to the preamble of the Constitution, we have been endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights which are guaranteed to us by the governing documents of the United States of America. There is an elected judicial system to enforce these rights. But, with these rights there are also responsibilities. It is each individual's responsibility to know what their rights are and go through the proper channels to obtain them. Millions of law-breakers have never been brought to trial because the victim, for one reason or another, didn't press charges. In many cases, I'm sure the people didn't know their rights.
During Abraham Lincoln's presidency, he signed the Emancipation Proclamation, which freed all American slaves. But there are documented cases where slave owners hid the Proclamation, and slaves continued serving in bondage because they were ignorant of the change that had taken place. This has been exactly Satan's strategy against the church. As Hosea 4:6 says, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." And 2 Peter 1:3 says, "According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue." If Satan can keep a Christian ignorant or in unbelief about who they have become and their rights as a child of the King, he can keep them in bondage even though the law of liberty in Christ Jesus has been put into effect!
The most effective way the devil has done this is through religious unbelief, specifically the doctrinal teachings about us being unworthy, condemned ol' sinners, saved by grace. Praise God. I was an ol' sinner, but I got saved by grace, and now I'm the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus (2 Cor. 5:21). I am not unworthy any longer in my spiritual man. Ephesians 4:24 says, "And that ye put on the new man [that is speaking of your born-again spirit], which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." My spirit is righteous and truly holy! Hallelujah!
But, somebody would say, "All our righteousness are as filthy rags" (Is. 64:6), and "There is none righteous, no not one" (Rom. 3:10). These scriptures refer to our self-righteousness, which can never bring us into fellowship with God because "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God" (Rom. 3:23). But Jesus took our sin and became sin for us so that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him (2 Cor. 5:21). That means our new spirits. That's the part of us that is in Him. If you accept the first part of this verse, that Jesus became sin for us, then you have to accept the next part, that we received His righteousness. This is not a righteousness which is imparted in heaven. It will be perfected in heaven, spirit, soul, and glorified body. But as Ephesians 4:24 says, our spirits are now righteous and truly holy. Hebrews 12:23 says, speaking of the church, "the spirits of just men made perfect."
The spirit that we had which was dead unto God, is gone, and the new spirit which we received at salvation, is righteous, truly holy, and perfect. It is actually the same spirit that we will have throughout all eternity. It will not be changed or improved upon. The flesh part will be changed, but our spirit salvation is complete. Colossians 1:12 says that we have (past tense) been made meet (fit or able) to partake of the inheritance of the saints. In our spirits, we are now overcomers, and the rest of the Christian life, stated very simply, is renewing the soul and body to that truth. Romans 12:2 says it this way, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Paul didn't pray that they would receive some new thing from God, but rather that they would renew their minds and prove (or make manifest to the physical senses) what was already there. God did not change us only in principle at the new birth, but we are now, in our spirits, a totally new creation. But until we first realize this and then act on it in faith, the devil will continue to oppress us. The first step in faith is knowledge. Romans 10:14 says, "How shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard?" and verse 17 says, "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." Ignorance of who we are in our spirits has made it impossible for us to act in faith accordingly.
Philemon 6 says, "That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus." This verse makes it clear that your faith becomes effectual (starts working) by knowing the good things in your spirit. You could turn that verse around and not change the meaning by saying that if you don't know what's taken place in your spirit man, your faith won't work.
The religious teaching that most people have received today has either taught or left the impression that there isn't any good thing in us. We've been taught that the way to activate the power of God in our lives is to keep our unworthiness and weaknesses continually before us. This is characterized by what I call the "false humility attitude" among many Christians. You will hear statements such as "Without Jesus, I can do nothing," which is totally true, but it is not balanced by the truth that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
We need to realize that we are totally dependent on Jesus, but we have to go beyond that and realize that as we depend on Jesus, we are totally superior to any weapon the devil can use against us. We are world overcomers (1 John 5:4). Hebrews 12:2 says we have to look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, but most of us have been looking at ourselves. No wonder we've been weary and have fainted in the battle (Heb. 12:3)! As we change our attention from our own frailty to Christ's sufficiency and take our place in Him, our faith will be activated, and we'll begin to live like the King's kids that we are.
If I were to ask you "Do you know who you are?" your immediate answer would be, "Of course I do." But can you imagine what it would be like if suddenly you lost all memory of your name, where you lived, who was your husband or wife, your children, where you worked, etc? It would be terrifying. There is an enormous security in knowing who you are. That is the reason people are so reluctant to change. They are secure in what they know and very fearful about what they do not know.
Well, it is also a necessity that you know who you have become in your spirit. You are a new creature in your spirit (2 Cor. 5:17), and you have to reeducate your mind to think that way before the perfect will of God will be made manifest in your flesh (Rom. 12:1-2). We are more than conquerors through Christ, but we won't benefit from that truth until we convince ourselves of it, no more than a millionaire would benefit from their bank account if they didn't know it was there. This is the condition that the body of Christ has been in. We have simply been ignorant of who we are in Jesus (in our spirits) and of the rights and privileges that are ours.
An example of this in the natural is our freedom as Americans. According to the preamble of the Constitution, we have been endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights which are guaranteed to us by the governing documents of the United States of America. There is an elected judicial system to enforce these rights. But, with these rights there are also responsibilities. It is each individual's responsibility to know what their rights are and go through the proper channels to obtain them. Millions of law-breakers have never been brought to trial because the victim, for one reason or another, didn't press charges. In many cases, I'm sure the people didn't know their rights.
During Abraham Lincoln's presidency, he signed the Emancipation Proclamation, which freed all American slaves. But there are documented cases where slave owners hid the Proclamation, and slaves continued serving in bondage because they were ignorant of the change that had taken place. This has been exactly Satan's strategy against the church. As Hosea 4:6 says, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." And 2 Peter 1:3 says, "According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue." If Satan can keep a Christian ignorant or in unbelief about who they have become and their rights as a child of the King, he can keep them in bondage even though the law of liberty in Christ Jesus has been put into effect!
The most effective way the devil has done this is through religious unbelief, specifically the doctrinal teachings about us being unworthy, condemned ol' sinners, saved by grace. Praise God. I was an ol' sinner, but I got saved by grace, and now I'm the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus (2 Cor. 5:21). I am not unworthy any longer in my spiritual man. Ephesians 4:24 says, "And that ye put on the new man [that is speaking of your born-again spirit], which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." My spirit is righteous and truly holy! Hallelujah!
But, somebody would say, "All our righteousness are as filthy rags" (Is. 64:6), and "There is none righteous, no not one" (Rom. 3:10). These scriptures refer to our self-righteousness, which can never bring us into fellowship with God because "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God" (Rom. 3:23). But Jesus took our sin and became sin for us so that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him (2 Cor. 5:21). That means our new spirits. That's the part of us that is in Him. If you accept the first part of this verse, that Jesus became sin for us, then you have to accept the next part, that we received His righteousness. This is not a righteousness which is imparted in heaven. It will be perfected in heaven, spirit, soul, and glorified body. But as Ephesians 4:24 says, our spirits are now righteous and truly holy. Hebrews 12:23 says, speaking of the church, "the spirits of just men made perfect."
The spirit that we had which was dead unto God, is gone, and the new spirit which we received at salvation, is righteous, truly holy, and perfect. It is actually the same spirit that we will have throughout all eternity. It will not be changed or improved upon. The flesh part will be changed, but our spirit salvation is complete. Colossians 1:12 says that we have (past tense) been made meet (fit or able) to partake of the inheritance of the saints. In our spirits, we are now overcomers, and the rest of the Christian life, stated very simply, is renewing the soul and body to that truth. Romans 12:2 says it this way, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Paul didn't pray that they would receive some new thing from God, but rather that they would renew their minds and prove (or make manifest to the physical senses) what was already there. God did not change us only in principle at the new birth, but we are now, in our spirits, a totally new creation. But until we first realize this and then act on it in faith, the devil will continue to oppress us. The first step in faith is knowledge. Romans 10:14 says, "How shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard?" and verse 17 says, "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." Ignorance of who we are in our spirits has made it impossible for us to act in faith accordingly.
Philemon 6 says, "That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus." This verse makes it clear that your faith becomes effectual (starts working) by knowing the good things in your spirit. You could turn that verse around and not change the meaning by saying that if you don't know what's taken place in your spirit man, your faith won't work.
The religious teaching that most people have received today has either taught or left the impression that there isn't any good thing in us. We've been taught that the way to activate the power of God in our lives is to keep our unworthiness and weaknesses continually before us. This is characterized by what I call the "false humility attitude" among many Christians. You will hear statements such as "Without Jesus, I can do nothing," which is totally true, but it is not balanced by the truth that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
We need to realize that we are totally dependent on Jesus, but we have to go beyond that and realize that as we depend on Jesus, we are totally superior to any weapon the devil can use against us. We are world overcomers (1 John 5:4). Hebrews 12:2 says we have to look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, but most of us have been looking at ourselves. No wonder we've been weary and have fainted in the battle (Heb. 12:3)! As we change our attention from our own frailty to Christ's sufficiency and take our place in Him, our faith will be activated, and we'll begin to live like the King's kids that we are.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Our Self Esteem and Interpersonal Behavior
by Steven R. Hemler
A healthy self-esteem is essential to productive and effective interpersonal relationships, and very important to achieving happiness in life. However, many, if not most people find it difficult to sincerely and deeply believe that they are a truly good, worthy, and valuable person. I believe the best way to achieve this self-acceptance is conveyed in a saying I first heard at a high school retreat: "God Don't Make Junk." In other words, I am a good and valuable person because I am created in God's own image and likeness, and I have just the personal strengths and weaknesses He desires me to have. Since God doesn't make junk, who am I to question His handiwork?
Without a healthy self-esteem, we unconsciously play all sorts of destructive and negative interpersonal games (as described in the book Games People Play by Eric Berne) in an attempt to feel better about ourselves. The field of psychology called Transactional Analysis (T.A.) can be especially helpful in understanding our unconsciously motivated behaviors.
In T.A. terms, there are four possible "life positions" (foundational beliefs):
1. I'm Not OK - You're OK
2. I'm Not OK - You're Not OK
3. I'm OK - You're Not OK
4. I'm OK - You're OK.
Our basic life position is established very early in life, but can later change. These life positions are lived out in the interpersonal roles we play - either as an aggressive "Parent," a passive "Child" or an assertive "Adult."
The first life position, "I'm Not OK - You're OK," appears to be the life position of most young children, but also the one which many people maintain throughout life. A child living with frequent parental criticism and a relative lack of affectionate "stroking" and positive reinforcement will usually reach the conclusion that he's not OK, but that his all-knowing parents are OK. For a two-year old, such a decision is reasonable enough. However, for a thirty-year-old, it may merely be an obsolete burden. The tragedy is that many people never reassess this early conclusion about themselves. They stick with it for life, continuing to be the submissive and passive "Child" (mostly having a Child/Parent interaction with others).
Many children later do reassess things. Especially if one's parents are cold and unstroking, a young person may come to unconsciously decide - in the depths of their loneliness and despair - that other people are not as OK as they had thought. Nobody is OK and everything is futile. This life position, "I'm Not OK - You're Not OK," can lead to personal despair and even suicide.
Another common method to relieve one's "Not OK burden" is to develop a kind of relative OKness by unconsciously deciding, "I can be OK, so long as I'm more OK than you." This "I'm OK - You're Not OK" life position causes all sorts of aggressive, dominating, and controlling behaviors (bragging, bullying, bossing, etc.). The basic life position seems to remain I'm Not OK. But, this switch is made whenever an opportunity arises later in life to relieve one's Not OK burden by feeling that I am superior to the other person (and that makes me feel better about myself). Thus, the aggressive "Parent" tends to treat others as an incompetent "Child" (Parent/Child interaction).
The only truly constructive life position is "I'm OK - You're OK." I'm a worthy and valuable Adult who deserves to be listened to and treated with respect, and so are you (Adult/Adult interaction). A youngster may arrive at this life position almost automatically, IF he or she grows up continually receiving unconditional love and positive "strokes" and receives, as well, conditional "strokes" for growing at his or her own pace (learning to walk, talk, pronounce words correctly, etc.).
Helping our children achieve an "I'm OK - You're OK" life position is one of the best gifts we can give them in life. Thus, it is important for parents to do all we can to make sure our children truly FEEL loved and appreciated. Two really helpful books in this regard are How to Really Love Your Child and How to Really Love Your Teen, both by Dr. Ross Campbell.
A healthy self-esteem is essential to productive and effective interpersonal relationships, and very important to achieving happiness in life. However, many, if not most people find it difficult to sincerely and deeply believe that they are a truly good, worthy, and valuable person. I believe the best way to achieve this self-acceptance is conveyed in a saying I first heard at a high school retreat: "God Don't Make Junk." In other words, I am a good and valuable person because I am created in God's own image and likeness, and I have just the personal strengths and weaknesses He desires me to have. Since God doesn't make junk, who am I to question His handiwork?
Without a healthy self-esteem, we unconsciously play all sorts of destructive and negative interpersonal games (as described in the book Games People Play by Eric Berne) in an attempt to feel better about ourselves. The field of psychology called Transactional Analysis (T.A.) can be especially helpful in understanding our unconsciously motivated behaviors.
In T.A. terms, there are four possible "life positions" (foundational beliefs):
1. I'm Not OK - You're OK
2. I'm Not OK - You're Not OK
3. I'm OK - You're Not OK
4. I'm OK - You're OK.
Our basic life position is established very early in life, but can later change. These life positions are lived out in the interpersonal roles we play - either as an aggressive "Parent," a passive "Child" or an assertive "Adult."
The first life position, "I'm Not OK - You're OK," appears to be the life position of most young children, but also the one which many people maintain throughout life. A child living with frequent parental criticism and a relative lack of affectionate "stroking" and positive reinforcement will usually reach the conclusion that he's not OK, but that his all-knowing parents are OK. For a two-year old, such a decision is reasonable enough. However, for a thirty-year-old, it may merely be an obsolete burden. The tragedy is that many people never reassess this early conclusion about themselves. They stick with it for life, continuing to be the submissive and passive "Child" (mostly having a Child/Parent interaction with others).
Many children later do reassess things. Especially if one's parents are cold and unstroking, a young person may come to unconsciously decide - in the depths of their loneliness and despair - that other people are not as OK as they had thought. Nobody is OK and everything is futile. This life position, "I'm Not OK - You're Not OK," can lead to personal despair and even suicide.
Another common method to relieve one's "Not OK burden" is to develop a kind of relative OKness by unconsciously deciding, "I can be OK, so long as I'm more OK than you." This "I'm OK - You're Not OK" life position causes all sorts of aggressive, dominating, and controlling behaviors (bragging, bullying, bossing, etc.). The basic life position seems to remain I'm Not OK. But, this switch is made whenever an opportunity arises later in life to relieve one's Not OK burden by feeling that I am superior to the other person (and that makes me feel better about myself). Thus, the aggressive "Parent" tends to treat others as an incompetent "Child" (Parent/Child interaction).
The only truly constructive life position is "I'm OK - You're OK." I'm a worthy and valuable Adult who deserves to be listened to and treated with respect, and so are you (Adult/Adult interaction). A youngster may arrive at this life position almost automatically, IF he or she grows up continually receiving unconditional love and positive "strokes" and receives, as well, conditional "strokes" for growing at his or her own pace (learning to walk, talk, pronounce words correctly, etc.).
Helping our children achieve an "I'm OK - You're OK" life position is one of the best gifts we can give them in life. Thus, it is important for parents to do all we can to make sure our children truly FEEL loved and appreciated. Two really helpful books in this regard are How to Really Love Your Child and How to Really Love Your Teen, both by Dr. Ross Campbell.
Monday, December 21, 2009
How come God tested Abraham when He already knew the answer?
Answer:
Let me ask you a question. Did Abraham know the answer? I don't think so, I think that this test showed Abraham how important God was to him. I also think that the whole test was an object lesson, not only for Abraham but for us. Look at how God told Abraham about the test:
(Genesis 22:2 NIV) Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."
Notice anything? God stressed that this was Abraham's only son, whom he loved. Now look at this:
(John 3:16 NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Notice anything now?
God was showing Abraham and us just how much He loves us to have sent His only Son to die for us. Now look at this:
(Genesis 22:13-14 NIV) [13] Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. [14] So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."
God provided the sacrifice so that Isaac did not have to be killed. This is a picture of the Lamb of God being provided for our sins. Of course that Lamb of God is Jesus Christ. But it does not stop there. Notice what Abraham called the place "The LORD will Provide. Then notice that it is said that to this day (when this was written by Moses) this place was called "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided." That might not mean much until you know a few other facts. The mountain that Abraham took Isaac to was called Mount Moriah, as we see from the first passage I quoted. Do you know where the Temple was built in Jerusalem? On Mount Moriah. In fact that is why the Dome of the Rock is there today, because the Muslims also count Abraham as their father and this is where they believe, as do Jews and Christians that Abraham was going to sacrifice his son. Now think about that. Who was sentenced to death on that mountain and was crucified right there? Jesus was. So what they said all those years was true, on that mountain God did provide the perfect Lamb to take away the sins of the world.
Now that you know all of that, do you see what was going on with Abraham? Every time a Jew sacrificed a lamb after that they were saying that they believed that God would eventually provide the perfect sacrifice for their sins. This was all a picture of what God planned to do. They did not realize it at the time, but He even showed them that the Messiah would be His only Son.
Yes God knew what Abraham would do, but afterward Abraham knew what he would do and also what God would do.
Courtesy:
http://www.behindthebadge.net/apologetics/index.html
Let me ask you a question. Did Abraham know the answer? I don't think so, I think that this test showed Abraham how important God was to him. I also think that the whole test was an object lesson, not only for Abraham but for us. Look at how God told Abraham about the test:
(Genesis 22:2 NIV) Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."
Notice anything? God stressed that this was Abraham's only son, whom he loved. Now look at this:
(John 3:16 NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Notice anything now?
God was showing Abraham and us just how much He loves us to have sent His only Son to die for us. Now look at this:
(Genesis 22:13-14 NIV) [13] Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. [14] So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."
God provided the sacrifice so that Isaac did not have to be killed. This is a picture of the Lamb of God being provided for our sins. Of course that Lamb of God is Jesus Christ. But it does not stop there. Notice what Abraham called the place "The LORD will Provide. Then notice that it is said that to this day (when this was written by Moses) this place was called "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided." That might not mean much until you know a few other facts. The mountain that Abraham took Isaac to was called Mount Moriah, as we see from the first passage I quoted. Do you know where the Temple was built in Jerusalem? On Mount Moriah. In fact that is why the Dome of the Rock is there today, because the Muslims also count Abraham as their father and this is where they believe, as do Jews and Christians that Abraham was going to sacrifice his son. Now think about that. Who was sentenced to death on that mountain and was crucified right there? Jesus was. So what they said all those years was true, on that mountain God did provide the perfect Lamb to take away the sins of the world.
Now that you know all of that, do you see what was going on with Abraham? Every time a Jew sacrificed a lamb after that they were saying that they believed that God would eventually provide the perfect sacrifice for their sins. This was all a picture of what God planned to do. They did not realize it at the time, but He even showed them that the Messiah would be His only Son.
Yes God knew what Abraham would do, but afterward Abraham knew what he would do and also what God would do.
Courtesy:
http://www.behindthebadge.net/apologetics/index.html
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Ephesians:6:10-13 (Part 2)
In Ephesians:6:10-13, Paul says: "10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand".
What does it mean, when it says, Put on the whole armor of God. What does this mean?
Looking back in life, I probably fall into the category, who took the longest to come to God, after I knew about Him. I've seen people change their lives in a heartbeat and not look back. I have seen and talked to young people, and they weren't just changed on the outside, or just trying to sell something they wouldn't buy. I've seen people who are so fired up about it, that it was inconceivable. I've tried and used Logic against their beliefs but they wouldn't budge.
What was the difference between these people and me?
One thing that I've come to realize is this. The people who believe, are not using their own ability to believe; they are not using their own ability to keep the faith; they are not using their own plan to execute. It's a much simpler and straightforward act, which is surprisingly elusive. They found a way to surrender. They found a way to see the thin rope hanging and jumped to latch on to it. They found a way to see beyond all the vile and the waste, and recognize and hold on to the precious. They found a way to "hear Him above all the din of opinions and ideas of people" as someone who I barely knew (but was impacted by) once put it.
If you haven't watched the movie, "An Officer and a Gentleman" by Taylor Hackford, here's a quick overview. Richard Gere plays Zack Mayo, born to a womanizing father and a mother who eventually commits suicide. He decides to become a Navy Pilot and joins a 13-week long aviation officer candidate school, where he runs into the no-nonsense drill instructor Gunnery Sergeant, Emil Foley. Foley thinks Mayo (or Mayonnaise, as he calls him) is an excellent Officer material, but extremely self-involved so he rides him mercilessly during the training sessions.
But when Foley catches Mayo breaking a rule, he makes his life unendurable by making Mayo do various hard tasks hoping he would eventually resign. When Mayo doesn't give in, Foley continues to ride him really hard and finally kicks him out. That's when Mayo reaches his breaking point and cries out "I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to go... I got nothin' else."
That's the breaking point. That's the breaking point that all these people managed to reach. That's the breaking point where they considered themselves completely broken. That's the breaking point where they all said to themselves - I cannot do it by myself anymore and I surrender.
And once you reach this breaking point, you will eventually surrender to God and accept Jesus Christ, as your Lord; as some one that will lead you; as some one you will depend on. As you start doing that every day you will see your eyes and ears opening to new things. He reveals to you things that you've never seen or heard before. As you grow in your relationship with Christ, you will also see an opposition from the dark. As you grow stronger and closer to God, the resistance or attacks from the dark grow stronger and stronger too. And the way to handle this is to deliberately and methodically, identify these attacks and resist them. And since you need wisdom and strength for this, you need to pray to God for such wisdom and strength. And as you gain wisdom and strength, it will in turn increase these attacks in number, strength and the range of aspects of your life.
And you will realize eventually that to consistently resist these attacks, your approach has to be diligent, persistent, methodical and surgical. And for this you need to put on the whole armor of God. Now what entails this whole armor of God?
Verses 14-17 say: 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;
Therefore, the whole armor of God includes the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the sandals of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of Salvation and the sword of the Spirit (Word of God).
What does it mean, when it says, Put on the whole armor of God. What does this mean?
Looking back in life, I probably fall into the category, who took the longest to come to God, after I knew about Him. I've seen people change their lives in a heartbeat and not look back. I have seen and talked to young people, and they weren't just changed on the outside, or just trying to sell something they wouldn't buy. I've seen people who are so fired up about it, that it was inconceivable. I've tried and used Logic against their beliefs but they wouldn't budge.
What was the difference between these people and me?
One thing that I've come to realize is this. The people who believe, are not using their own ability to believe; they are not using their own ability to keep the faith; they are not using their own plan to execute. It's a much simpler and straightforward act, which is surprisingly elusive. They found a way to surrender. They found a way to see the thin rope hanging and jumped to latch on to it. They found a way to see beyond all the vile and the waste, and recognize and hold on to the precious. They found a way to "hear Him above all the din of opinions and ideas of people" as someone who I barely knew (but was impacted by) once put it.
If you haven't watched the movie, "An Officer and a Gentleman" by Taylor Hackford, here's a quick overview. Richard Gere plays Zack Mayo, born to a womanizing father and a mother who eventually commits suicide. He decides to become a Navy Pilot and joins a 13-week long aviation officer candidate school, where he runs into the no-nonsense drill instructor Gunnery Sergeant, Emil Foley. Foley thinks Mayo (or Mayonnaise, as he calls him) is an excellent Officer material, but extremely self-involved so he rides him mercilessly during the training sessions.
But when Foley catches Mayo breaking a rule, he makes his life unendurable by making Mayo do various hard tasks hoping he would eventually resign. When Mayo doesn't give in, Foley continues to ride him really hard and finally kicks him out. That's when Mayo reaches his breaking point and cries out "I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to go... I got nothin' else."
That's the breaking point. That's the breaking point that all these people managed to reach. That's the breaking point where they considered themselves completely broken. That's the breaking point where they all said to themselves - I cannot do it by myself anymore and I surrender.
And once you reach this breaking point, you will eventually surrender to God and accept Jesus Christ, as your Lord; as some one that will lead you; as some one you will depend on. As you start doing that every day you will see your eyes and ears opening to new things. He reveals to you things that you've never seen or heard before. As you grow in your relationship with Christ, you will also see an opposition from the dark. As you grow stronger and closer to God, the resistance or attacks from the dark grow stronger and stronger too. And the way to handle this is to deliberately and methodically, identify these attacks and resist them. And since you need wisdom and strength for this, you need to pray to God for such wisdom and strength. And as you gain wisdom and strength, it will in turn increase these attacks in number, strength and the range of aspects of your life.
And you will realize eventually that to consistently resist these attacks, your approach has to be diligent, persistent, methodical and surgical. And for this you need to put on the whole armor of God. Now what entails this whole armor of God?
Verses 14-17 say: 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;
Therefore, the whole armor of God includes the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the sandals of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of Salvation and the sword of the Spirit (Word of God).
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Ephesians:6:10-13 (Part 1)
Think about this for a second. "From the moment you wake up in the morning till the moment you close your eyes, stop thinking and fall asleep at night, you are a potential play ground for evil powers. And this is true for almost every day of your life on this planet." Think about what this means for a minute or two... the staggering impact it may have on you.
I am sure all of us who may have already heard this may have dismissed it at one point or the other, saying "C'mon! that can't be true! That seems like a statistic some freak might have made up" At least I thought so.. That didn't seem intelligent at all. But it's true, especially if you're trying to come closer to God. And if you made a decision to make Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior, you become the playground alright. You are marked.
For instance, have you ever had a minor beef, or a gripe or a small complaint against someone you love? And you chose not to resolve it? Have you noticed how that plays into almost everything that you do, regardless of it's relevance? No amount of love for this person can stop you from looking at this issue through the world's largest lens and there is a huge chance that this one small gripe can ruin your relationship with the loved one. That's not logical really. In fact that's very illogical, but that's what can happen.
Or for another instance, do you have a minor insecurity, that you have not resolved in your life? You will see pretty much the same results. You may end up sabotaging every good thing that may happen to you, solely due to this one small insecurity. Again, it plays into everything you do, and ruin every endeavor you take up. It's not logical, but self-sabotage is never logical.
1.Peter:5:8 which says (NKJV) "8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour". The moment you look at your life and say, I have to live life right, expect the Roaring Lion to stalk you and pounce upon you at the first chance he gets and when you least expect it. If you have already built yourself strong on the 'Rock' you will survive the first few attacks until you actually realize what may be going on, but if you're like the 'chaff which the wind driveth away', you may not last long at all.
If you watched Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park (the first one), there's a fence with 10,000 volts, around the T-Rex's domain in the Jurassic Park, to keep him from coming out of his huge confines. And the T-Rex, looking to escape, is known to continually (in spite of the powerful and painful electric shocks) test the individual spots in the fence for any weaknesses and he never tests the same spot twice.
Now imagine a T-Rex 1000 times more intelligent and 1000 times more persistent, testing your defenses every second, from the moment you wake up in the morning, till the moment you close your eyes, stop thinking and fall asleep at night, every living day of your life. Not fun at all.. right?
1.Peter:5:9-11 says "9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen."
Now, if you think about it a little more, it's not just the gripes and the insecurities. This applies to our addictions, to our obsessions, to our irrational fears, to qualities like aimlessness, lethargy, inertia, lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, to our emotional outbursts (or lack thereof), be it unprovoked anger, be it pointless depression, be it unreasonable defensiveness, be it unjustified indifference, the whole gamut. We cannot direct any of our gripes, insecurities or any misguided outbursts toward our loved ones or ourselves. A conscientious and a conscious and deliberate effort has to be made to turn our emotional response to a controlled one. In Ephesians:6:10-13, Paul tells us everything that we need to know and do in order to successfully ward off these attacks. He says: "10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand".
I am sure all of us who may have already heard this may have dismissed it at one point or the other, saying "C'mon! that can't be true! That seems like a statistic some freak might have made up" At least I thought so.. That didn't seem intelligent at all. But it's true, especially if you're trying to come closer to God. And if you made a decision to make Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior, you become the playground alright. You are marked.
For instance, have you ever had a minor beef, or a gripe or a small complaint against someone you love? And you chose not to resolve it? Have you noticed how that plays into almost everything that you do, regardless of it's relevance? No amount of love for this person can stop you from looking at this issue through the world's largest lens and there is a huge chance that this one small gripe can ruin your relationship with the loved one. That's not logical really. In fact that's very illogical, but that's what can happen.
Or for another instance, do you have a minor insecurity, that you have not resolved in your life? You will see pretty much the same results. You may end up sabotaging every good thing that may happen to you, solely due to this one small insecurity. Again, it plays into everything you do, and ruin every endeavor you take up. It's not logical, but self-sabotage is never logical.
1.Peter:5:8 which says (NKJV) "8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour". The moment you look at your life and say, I have to live life right, expect the Roaring Lion to stalk you and pounce upon you at the first chance he gets and when you least expect it. If you have already built yourself strong on the 'Rock' you will survive the first few attacks until you actually realize what may be going on, but if you're like the 'chaff which the wind driveth away', you may not last long at all.
If you watched Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park (the first one), there's a fence with 10,000 volts, around the T-Rex's domain in the Jurassic Park, to keep him from coming out of his huge confines. And the T-Rex, looking to escape, is known to continually (in spite of the powerful and painful electric shocks) test the individual spots in the fence for any weaknesses and he never tests the same spot twice.
Now imagine a T-Rex 1000 times more intelligent and 1000 times more persistent, testing your defenses every second, from the moment you wake up in the morning, till the moment you close your eyes, stop thinking and fall asleep at night, every living day of your life. Not fun at all.. right?
1.Peter:5:9-11 says "9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen."
Now, if you think about it a little more, it's not just the gripes and the insecurities. This applies to our addictions, to our obsessions, to our irrational fears, to qualities like aimlessness, lethargy, inertia, lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, to our emotional outbursts (or lack thereof), be it unprovoked anger, be it pointless depression, be it unreasonable defensiveness, be it unjustified indifference, the whole gamut. We cannot direct any of our gripes, insecurities or any misguided outbursts toward our loved ones or ourselves. A conscientious and a conscious and deliberate effort has to be made to turn our emotional response to a controlled one. In Ephesians:6:10-13, Paul tells us everything that we need to know and do in order to successfully ward off these attacks. He says: "10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand".
Friday, March 07, 2008
"Options"
If you’re a coffee-drinker and go to Starbucks or Seattle’s Best to order one, you are presented with a bunch of options to pick from right – non-fat, extra hot, no-whip etc. Or if you’re building a house or buying a car, once you pick the base model, you are offered a wide variety of options, correct? From a business perspective, the seller gives you the option of picking something on your own, so that you feel better about shelling out loads of cash. Placate the buyer’s remorse. Show off to a fellow buyer (or a non-buyer) the options you picked. “We got the rear-view camera on our car”, or “Our Navigation system is integrated with our phone and ipod”, “We chose the upgraded Master-bathroom” etc.
Life on the other hand has really few options on a day to day basis. Most of the time the options are really two – the right and the wrong. Every single decision that matters in life, always has a right and a wrong answer. There might be a huge effort on your part or even on a third-party to make them seem like options. But they're really not. We may not always be equipped to see the implication of our choices. And hindsight is 20/20. But it will bode you well if you more often than not assume that there’s a wrong "option"; an option that needs to be avoided and so assume there’s a right "option"; an option that needs to be picked no matter what.
Some of us spend a lot of time trying to avoid the wrong option. I know someone who will go to about 10 different stores to pick the right shirt. I went to more stores to buy a good Winter Jacket, but for a shirt? I think that’s going a little too far. I test drove 3 different smartphones before I made a decision on buying one, spent weeks doing research. But the effort was to get the features that I am looking for and not to avoid doing the wrong thing
What I am trying to say here is this. Looking back I know I made quite a few wrong decisions. But the reason I made the wrong decision was because I viewed it as an option. The wrong decision was either presented to me as an option or I accepted it as an option. And sometimes, there were people that I trusted, that thought it was the right decision. Looking back, they clearly were the wrong decisions. That is not to say that I am trying to shirk the responsibility for them. Au Contraire, I hold myself completely and absolutely responsible for not seeing things clearly and/or not acting accordingly.
Some things are simple really. To smoke or not to smoke cigarettes. The choice is clear there. Cigarettes are harmful to me and others around me. If a friend of mine comes to me and asks me to punch someone in the nose, I would hold off for a wide range of reasons. But if he says that it’s a matter of our friendship, I’d stop and think a while. And if he says that this someone will do worse to me unless I punch him in the nose, then I would lean towards the punching (sounds exhilarating too).
In Nov of 1999, I remember driving back from work, late one night. It was a Saturday night, I was working on a production release and I had to go to work at midnight. As usual I volunteered for it because I was jaded. I really had no choice too as there were things on the system I worked on the most and I didn’t want anyone else calling me up with questions in the middle of the night. So I finished and was driving back at 3am and was stopped by this cop, half way home. I didn’t realize that I was driving with one headlight, until the cop announced that he’s giving me a ticket for “driving with one headlight”. I couldn’t care less, I was exhausted and half-asleep. Just grabbed the ticket, drove home and forgot all about it. A few years later, in fact years after I bought a new car, I was driving back from blockbuster after returning a DVD. Now with Block Buster you have to keep the DVD till minutes till midnight right, so it was after midnight again, and I was stopped by a cop… again. This guy follows me for almost a mile and he pulls me over after I pulled into my apartment complex. He comes down to my car asks me to “Step out of the vehicle”. At this time for some reason I found it funny. So I start laughing. I stepped out of the vehicle and he asks me to face the car and put my hands on the car. I really couldn’t stop laughing now. I asked him if this was a joke. This guy was good but not amused. He said it was no joke, cuffs me slowly, one hand at a time and walks me back to his cruiser. He sits me in the back seat and gets into the car in the front. Now I had to ask him why. He tells me that he has an arrest warrant for me because of an unpaid ticket from Nov.1999. And this was probably 2002 or 2003. Not even the same millennium right? It took me a few minutes to register that and I say to him that I didn’t even have this car then. But he shows me a record on the computer in the car and there was no arguing then. By this time two other cop cars come by. He walks over and talks to them for what seemed like along time. He comes back and says that he’s supposed to keep me for at least one night in the cooler, but since my record was squeaky clean (apart from the ticket that is) he will let me go, if I promise to pay the fine in 14 days. I was elated. I thank him profusely and tell him that I’ll pay it off first thing the next morning. He walks around, helps me out of the car, uncuffs me and eventually drives away.
Now to digress a little, being hand-cuffed is one of the most vulnerable positions, you can be in. You cannot do anything. You cannot even sit in a car without hurting your head or legs. A small helpless kid can walk up to you and kick you where you're vulnerable. You cannot do anything. You can’t even walk properly, leave alone run. You’re completely helpless. I commend the guy who invented the concept of “hands behind your back”
The reason for this story is this. There was no way that I should have completely forgotten about the ticket. I should have remembered it at least when I had the headlight fixed. It may seem like I am pushing it, but really if you think about it, unless there’s a self-destructive trait in you or some rebelliousness or even let’s-see-what-happens streak in you, you will take care of such things right away. I don’t consider myself a criminal, but there was a ‘right(lawful) or wrong(unlawful)’ choice there and I made the wrong choice. That, by definition, makes me a criminal. Now it’s a totally different issue that the cop decided to let me off. He was being a bigger man there. But the fact remains that there was a clear choice, there.
Now, there is only one way to it. There's only one way to live life right. (a) Build yourself on principles. Rules Engine, really. That’s what you need to be. An extensive rules engine. Build yourself on a book if you will, a set of principles that derive from a set of values and beliefs. Continue to add to it, based on wisdom and experience. Again there’s no way around it. And (b) follow it no matter what. There’s absolutely no default. There’s absolutely no gray area. And pretty much no exceptions. It’s the exceptions that get you really, but that’s for a whole another discussion. If you’re thinking about an exception, you might as well throw away the whole rule book. It’s like the Sun saying “I will rise from the west today because that's the only way to avoid the Eclipse”. NO. STAND your ground; GO THROUGH the eclipse; and SURVIVE it; and BE a BETTER man for it.
Life on the other hand has really few options on a day to day basis. Most of the time the options are really two – the right and the wrong. Every single decision that matters in life, always has a right and a wrong answer. There might be a huge effort on your part or even on a third-party to make them seem like options. But they're really not. We may not always be equipped to see the implication of our choices. And hindsight is 20/20. But it will bode you well if you more often than not assume that there’s a wrong "option"; an option that needs to be avoided and so assume there’s a right "option"; an option that needs to be picked no matter what.
Some of us spend a lot of time trying to avoid the wrong option. I know someone who will go to about 10 different stores to pick the right shirt. I went to more stores to buy a good Winter Jacket, but for a shirt? I think that’s going a little too far. I test drove 3 different smartphones before I made a decision on buying one, spent weeks doing research. But the effort was to get the features that I am looking for and not to avoid doing the wrong thing
What I am trying to say here is this. Looking back I know I made quite a few wrong decisions. But the reason I made the wrong decision was because I viewed it as an option. The wrong decision was either presented to me as an option or I accepted it as an option. And sometimes, there were people that I trusted, that thought it was the right decision. Looking back, they clearly were the wrong decisions. That is not to say that I am trying to shirk the responsibility for them. Au Contraire, I hold myself completely and absolutely responsible for not seeing things clearly and/or not acting accordingly.
Some things are simple really. To smoke or not to smoke cigarettes. The choice is clear there. Cigarettes are harmful to me and others around me. If a friend of mine comes to me and asks me to punch someone in the nose, I would hold off for a wide range of reasons. But if he says that it’s a matter of our friendship, I’d stop and think a while. And if he says that this someone will do worse to me unless I punch him in the nose, then I would lean towards the punching (sounds exhilarating too).
In Nov of 1999, I remember driving back from work, late one night. It was a Saturday night, I was working on a production release and I had to go to work at midnight. As usual I volunteered for it because I was jaded. I really had no choice too as there were things on the system I worked on the most and I didn’t want anyone else calling me up with questions in the middle of the night. So I finished and was driving back at 3am and was stopped by this cop, half way home. I didn’t realize that I was driving with one headlight, until the cop announced that he’s giving me a ticket for “driving with one headlight”. I couldn’t care less, I was exhausted and half-asleep. Just grabbed the ticket, drove home and forgot all about it. A few years later, in fact years after I bought a new car, I was driving back from blockbuster after returning a DVD. Now with Block Buster you have to keep the DVD till minutes till midnight right, so it was after midnight again, and I was stopped by a cop… again. This guy follows me for almost a mile and he pulls me over after I pulled into my apartment complex. He comes down to my car asks me to “Step out of the vehicle”. At this time for some reason I found it funny. So I start laughing. I stepped out of the vehicle and he asks me to face the car and put my hands on the car. I really couldn’t stop laughing now. I asked him if this was a joke. This guy was good but not amused. He said it was no joke, cuffs me slowly, one hand at a time and walks me back to his cruiser. He sits me in the back seat and gets into the car in the front. Now I had to ask him why. He tells me that he has an arrest warrant for me because of an unpaid ticket from Nov.1999. And this was probably 2002 or 2003. Not even the same millennium right? It took me a few minutes to register that and I say to him that I didn’t even have this car then. But he shows me a record on the computer in the car and there was no arguing then. By this time two other cop cars come by. He walks over and talks to them for what seemed like along time. He comes back and says that he’s supposed to keep me for at least one night in the cooler, but since my record was squeaky clean (apart from the ticket that is) he will let me go, if I promise to pay the fine in 14 days. I was elated. I thank him profusely and tell him that I’ll pay it off first thing the next morning. He walks around, helps me out of the car, uncuffs me and eventually drives away.
Now to digress a little, being hand-cuffed is one of the most vulnerable positions, you can be in. You cannot do anything. You cannot even sit in a car without hurting your head or legs. A small helpless kid can walk up to you and kick you where you're vulnerable. You cannot do anything. You can’t even walk properly, leave alone run. You’re completely helpless. I commend the guy who invented the concept of “hands behind your back”
The reason for this story is this. There was no way that I should have completely forgotten about the ticket. I should have remembered it at least when I had the headlight fixed. It may seem like I am pushing it, but really if you think about it, unless there’s a self-destructive trait in you or some rebelliousness or even let’s-see-what-happens streak in you, you will take care of such things right away. I don’t consider myself a criminal, but there was a ‘right(lawful) or wrong(unlawful)’ choice there and I made the wrong choice. That, by definition, makes me a criminal. Now it’s a totally different issue that the cop decided to let me off. He was being a bigger man there. But the fact remains that there was a clear choice, there.
Now, there is only one way to it. There's only one way to live life right. (a) Build yourself on principles. Rules Engine, really. That’s what you need to be. An extensive rules engine. Build yourself on a book if you will, a set of principles that derive from a set of values and beliefs. Continue to add to it, based on wisdom and experience. Again there’s no way around it. And (b) follow it no matter what. There’s absolutely no default. There’s absolutely no gray area. And pretty much no exceptions. It’s the exceptions that get you really, but that’s for a whole another discussion. If you’re thinking about an exception, you might as well throw away the whole rule book. It’s like the Sun saying “I will rise from the west today because that's the only way to avoid the Eclipse”. NO. STAND your ground; GO THROUGH the eclipse; and SURVIVE it; and BE a BETTER man for it.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Resilience
Dictionary.com describes this word as
noun
1. the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
2. ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.
Merriam Websters describes it as
noun
Date: 1824
1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress
2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change
The Superbowl Winning 2008 New York Giants used another form of this word (Resiliency) as their 'power' word or slogan or self-attributed strength if you will, at the beginning of the Superbowl. Here's a team whose Quarterback Eli Manning was criticized for his mild demeanor and lack of leadership skills all season; a team which was a wild card entry into the NFC play offs; a team that was an underdog during all of their play off games; a team who had to play all their playoff games on the road, against teams like the Buccaneers (#4), the Cowboys (#1) and finally the Packers (#2) in order to win the NFC championships. On the other paw, their losing opponents the AFC Champions New England Patriots - the team which had a perfect season; a team which was 18-0 coming into Superbowl; a team that was slated to follow the 70's 49'ers and the 90's cowboys as a dynasty; - used 'team-work' to describe their biggest strength. I can see why that failed!
We hear this word resilience all the time in our every day lives in this country. Motivational speakers make millions just describing instances of people's lives where they showed unnatural strength during times of adversity. It's a common buzz word in MBA courses when addressing ways to recover from business failures. Scores of young successful movie stars check themselves into re-hab for one reason or the other. Evidently they aren't listening to the right speeches.
To digress a little, I was watching the actor Russell Crowe in his interview with James Lipton in 'Inside the Actors Studio' on bravo (originally aired on 1/4/2004). In that while answering Lipton's question on how he prepares for a role, Crowe said (paraphrasing) "Preparation and research is a privilege. I love to do it for a role. I also know, I absolutely know that the more I put into it, the more is apparent on the Screen....". And about how much he feels privileged to work as an actor, he said "The producers and writers put so much trust in you, in you who has nothing vested into the role yet, while they have everything invested into it, that it's humbling. It's humbling to know that they trust in you enough and pay you enough wads of cash, that I cannot but bring myself to do whatever is in my power to do justice to the role. My role (not the movie role) in the grand schema of things is minute. All I am doing is translating the script into action, while they are doing the creation, production, the logistics and everything else that's needed to bring it to life. That usually grounds me enough to put my hours in."
Now looking at these young actors that check into re-hab from time to time, why is it so hard for them to grasp their place in the world! Is it because they don't have the discipline? They don't have the clarity? They don't know what they are getting into? Are they not ready for life, for hard work, for success/failure roller coaster? or are they all blaming 'art' for their screwups.
Leave these actors alone for a minute. Take any regular guy, me for example. Why can't I handle success well? Or better, why can't I handle failure well? Is it already expected due to the previous successes in life, that success comes easy? Where in life do you see success coming easy? Where in life do you see any half-assed effort succeeding? Don't I have to put everything in my life into something, in order for it to be successful?
Take an exam in graduate school for example, or even in college. Didn't you work your asses off in order to get an A, or 90% or above? Didn't you do what ever it takes, night outs, group studies, getting extra material to cover all bases.. to give it an honest effort? Didn't you wanna do one better than the next guy to do better? When that was so obvious, why do we look for short-cuts in life? We know that we want to achieve something. But why don't we wanna do everything that we can to achieve that? Do we lose clarity with time? Are there too many things in our daily life that is some how making us dumb?
Now when was the last time that you went to an Exam unprepared and got an A? Going to an exam unprepared was unthinkable, wasn't it? When was it okay to not prepare for an exam? We killed ourselves to get those grades, didn't we? We say some guys have it easy. Really? Do you know of someone who has it consistently easy? Or is he or she projecting that, while they work their butts off behind the scenes? You've seen guys put on a facade that they really didn't work for it? that they don't deserve it or they were 'blessed'. Well there is an issue here. I can accept it if you say, you are blessed with a good height or good health (to an extent) or any other natural blessing. But I cannot accept it when someone says, I am blessed with a promotion. Unless they are actually saying I worked my ass off for a promotion and I am blessed that I am recognized for my hard work. Well you don't hear those things often.
Nonetheless, in order to achieve consistent success don't I have to address everything that needs to be addressed for something to be successful? Bottomline, there's only two reasons why you could actually fail. You either didn't prepare enough. Or you didn't perform as well as you should have. If you prepare and perform as well as you should for any darn thing, YOU CANNOT FAIL.
Now there can be a third variable. The result. What result are you expecting once you're done with your preparation and performance? Are you expecting supernatural results? If you are, then you're screwed. And the discussion is moot.
So Bottomline (the rock bottom this time), You match your Preparation (and research) and Performance with the expected Result, YOU CANNOT FAIL, PERIOD.
When it can be such a straightforward science, why is it so hard for people to accept it and succeed more? Well, there are some people who do. Accept it as a straightforward science and succeed more that is. I believe they are doing something else right. Prioritizing. Well there's a science I can never master so I won't go there.
Nevertheless, I started the whole thing with this big introduction to the word 'Resilience'. Now, I believe this is where the human factor comes in. Once we decided to put our failures behind, why can't we go back to the 'science' and achieve success thereafter? Why do the past failures affect our future success(es)? The 'Science' never included the past failures! It never said, Preparation + Performance - Past Failures = Expected Result. It doesn't even know about the past failures. If it does, it only ascribes them to a lack of preparation and/or a sloppy performance. So that's moot as well.
So there it is folks. The answer to some of my freaking questions, I suppose. In order to show my resilience in the midst of failures, all I have to do is ignore my lack of 'natural blessings', ignore 'bad timing' (now that's a loser's best friend), of course ignore "It's not meant to be" and OBEY (for the lack of a better word) the 'SCIENCE'.
For a real example of resilience, you should read about 'Matt Bigos' ( http://mattbigos.com ) who - in an accident lost all his movement below his chest; was told he would never ever walk again - came close to finishing an IronMan (triathlon) within 5 years after the accident.
noun
1. the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
2. ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.
Merriam Websters describes it as
noun
Date: 1824
1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress
2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change
The Superbowl Winning 2008 New York Giants used another form of this word (Resiliency) as their 'power' word or slogan or self-attributed strength if you will, at the beginning of the Superbowl. Here's a team whose Quarterback Eli Manning was criticized for his mild demeanor and lack of leadership skills all season; a team which was a wild card entry into the NFC play offs; a team that was an underdog during all of their play off games; a team who had to play all their playoff games on the road, against teams like the Buccaneers (#4), the Cowboys (#1) and finally the Packers (#2) in order to win the NFC championships. On the other paw, their losing opponents the AFC Champions New England Patriots - the team which had a perfect season; a team which was 18-0 coming into Superbowl; a team that was slated to follow the 70's 49'ers and the 90's cowboys as a dynasty; - used 'team-work' to describe their biggest strength. I can see why that failed!
We hear this word resilience all the time in our every day lives in this country. Motivational speakers make millions just describing instances of people's lives where they showed unnatural strength during times of adversity. It's a common buzz word in MBA courses when addressing ways to recover from business failures. Scores of young successful movie stars check themselves into re-hab for one reason or the other. Evidently they aren't listening to the right speeches.
To digress a little, I was watching the actor Russell Crowe in his interview with James Lipton in 'Inside the Actors Studio' on bravo (originally aired on 1/4/2004). In that while answering Lipton's question on how he prepares for a role, Crowe said (paraphrasing) "Preparation and research is a privilege. I love to do it for a role. I also know, I absolutely know that the more I put into it, the more is apparent on the Screen....". And about how much he feels privileged to work as an actor, he said "The producers and writers put so much trust in you, in you who has nothing vested into the role yet, while they have everything invested into it, that it's humbling. It's humbling to know that they trust in you enough and pay you enough wads of cash, that I cannot but bring myself to do whatever is in my power to do justice to the role. My role (not the movie role) in the grand schema of things is minute. All I am doing is translating the script into action, while they are doing the creation, production, the logistics and everything else that's needed to bring it to life. That usually grounds me enough to put my hours in."
Now looking at these young actors that check into re-hab from time to time, why is it so hard for them to grasp their place in the world! Is it because they don't have the discipline? They don't have the clarity? They don't know what they are getting into? Are they not ready for life, for hard work, for success/failure roller coaster? or are they all blaming 'art' for their screwups.
Leave these actors alone for a minute. Take any regular guy, me for example. Why can't I handle success well? Or better, why can't I handle failure well? Is it already expected due to the previous successes in life, that success comes easy? Where in life do you see success coming easy? Where in life do you see any half-assed effort succeeding? Don't I have to put everything in my life into something, in order for it to be successful?
Take an exam in graduate school for example, or even in college. Didn't you work your asses off in order to get an A, or 90% or above? Didn't you do what ever it takes, night outs, group studies, getting extra material to cover all bases.. to give it an honest effort? Didn't you wanna do one better than the next guy to do better? When that was so obvious, why do we look for short-cuts in life? We know that we want to achieve something. But why don't we wanna do everything that we can to achieve that? Do we lose clarity with time? Are there too many things in our daily life that is some how making us dumb?
Now when was the last time that you went to an Exam unprepared and got an A? Going to an exam unprepared was unthinkable, wasn't it? When was it okay to not prepare for an exam? We killed ourselves to get those grades, didn't we? We say some guys have it easy. Really? Do you know of someone who has it consistently easy? Or is he or she projecting that, while they work their butts off behind the scenes? You've seen guys put on a facade that they really didn't work for it? that they don't deserve it or they were 'blessed'. Well there is an issue here. I can accept it if you say, you are blessed with a good height or good health (to an extent) or any other natural blessing. But I cannot accept it when someone says, I am blessed with a promotion. Unless they are actually saying I worked my ass off for a promotion and I am blessed that I am recognized for my hard work. Well you don't hear those things often.
Nonetheless, in order to achieve consistent success don't I have to address everything that needs to be addressed for something to be successful? Bottomline, there's only two reasons why you could actually fail. You either didn't prepare enough. Or you didn't perform as well as you should have. If you prepare and perform as well as you should for any darn thing, YOU CANNOT FAIL.
Now there can be a third variable. The result. What result are you expecting once you're done with your preparation and performance? Are you expecting supernatural results? If you are, then you're screwed. And the discussion is moot.
So Bottomline (the rock bottom this time), You match your Preparation (and research) and Performance with the expected Result, YOU CANNOT FAIL, PERIOD.
When it can be such a straightforward science, why is it so hard for people to accept it and succeed more? Well, there are some people who do. Accept it as a straightforward science and succeed more that is. I believe they are doing something else right. Prioritizing. Well there's a science I can never master so I won't go there.
Nevertheless, I started the whole thing with this big introduction to the word 'Resilience'. Now, I believe this is where the human factor comes in. Once we decided to put our failures behind, why can't we go back to the 'science' and achieve success thereafter? Why do the past failures affect our future success(es)? The 'Science' never included the past failures! It never said, Preparation + Performance - Past Failures = Expected Result. It doesn't even know about the past failures. If it does, it only ascribes them to a lack of preparation and/or a sloppy performance. So that's moot as well.
So there it is folks. The answer to some of my freaking questions, I suppose. In order to show my resilience in the midst of failures, all I have to do is ignore my lack of 'natural blessings', ignore 'bad timing' (now that's a loser's best friend), of course ignore "It's not meant to be" and OBEY (for the lack of a better word) the 'SCIENCE'.
For a real example of resilience, you should read about 'Matt Bigos' ( http://mattbigos.com ) who - in an accident lost all his movement below his chest; was told he would never ever walk again - came close to finishing an IronMan (triathlon) within 5 years after the accident.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
San Francisco
I went to this Church in San Francisco last Sunday. It was a smaller church than the one I go to and it was an Assembly of God. It was my first time there and I saw that the people were warm. In the lobby an older lady saw that I am new and gave me a welcome package and asked me to fill out something. She also gave me a purple mug with some hershey's kisses inside. I smiled, thanked her for that and walked into the Church. An usher promptly walked me through the center aisle, towards the front and sat me down in the fourth row. The service had started and there was beautiful music by the Choir dressed alike, in green.
A few minutes later, a very well spoken lady stood before the stage, only a few feet from the first row and made a few quick announcements. She pointed to a list that was handed out earlier that listed the prayer items for the week. And that each of us should pray regardless of how bad we think we are in praying. "If you cannot pray, you learn to pray. Each of us should know how to pray aloud", she stated with no condescension. I liked that. She reminded me of a teacher that I loved as a kid, who took no excuses if we failed to do our homework. She raised the standards right away. At the end she happily announced that the pastor was back and had everyone applaud her return. Everyone stood and clapped. She quickly returned then to her seat next to her smiling husband, while another woman walked to the stage. I began to pay close attention.
This woman in her late fifties, could be in her early sixties, walked toward the same spot and started speaking. Right away you could tell that she knew everyone in the Church and everyone knew her. She seemed to pick up where she left off before she went on the break. She said that she was glad that she finally took the break, because she and her husband had been planning to go to this place for a long time. She also joked about some things she saw and did during her break. From the way she spoke, I didn't realize that her husband passed away only a few weeks before, and that she went to this place without him. Her voice broke a little, but it didn't give away any regrets or sadness. She quickly changed the topic to the the sad incident in Kenya where the people taking refuge in a Church were attacked and about 40 of them were burnt alive on January 1st. It was shockingly gruesome and was all over the news. I later found out that this was in Eldoret, Kenya and a Pastor that I communicate with regularly, and who does good work -Peter Mwangi- was right there. Here's the news article.
She said she kept thinking about how the pastor must have felt when the attackers came into the Church and that we were very fortunate such things did not happen here in the US. She said that we should all pray for them and that none of us should underestimate the power of our individual and collective prayers.
While she spoke, I realized how recently she may have been widowed. She seemed to be going through spiritual attacks after that. Her face looked old.But for all I knew, she may have lost 5 years in just those last few weeks. She used short statements while speaking. No complex sentences but was extremely eloquent. She was terse and made her point well. She didn't seem to think while talking and didn't dwell on anything for too long.
She did describe some of her 'spiritual attacks' though. And her message revolved around how to fight these "assassins of joy" back. That's what she called them. The assassins. The assassins of joy. She then went on to point out how important it is to have the Joy. She pointed to several verses (almost 15 of them) in the Scriptures that talked about Joy. It's vital that we don't lose this Joy, while we continually face situations that threaten to eliminate that very Joy, by pointing out "the reality of life", she said. Her emphasis on it was very effective. She spoke with high clarity, despite her emotional condition. She ended it empasizing that our individual prayers ARE very powerful and that we should pray relentlessly submitting our petitions to the LORD.
The offertory was held right after, where we walked to the front in a line and dropped our offerings. As I walked back, the smiling husband of the lady who spoke earlier, sitting at the end of the first row smiled and shook my hand. At the end, I walked to the front to one of the elders who were praying for others. While he prayed for me, the smiling husband began to speak in tongues around me. Earlier during the opening prayer, the pastor also spoke in tongues for long and you could feel the presence of the Spirit. Well, you don't actually feel the presence of the Spirit but here I believed the Spirit was there.
I stepped out quickly into the Lobby after that. And I noticed there were some pamphlets with some pictures. It was the pastor and her husband. That's when I gathered, how much they meant to the Church and how active and strong they both were for the Church and the Lord. Earlier when the younger lady spoke about the daily prayer, I immediately wanted to either come down during the week or just pray at this hotel where I was staying. My decision was strong. At least I thought it was. I needed to be in San Mateo from 9 to 5 every day that week, but was free in the evenings.
Oswald Chambers in his 'Series of talks on the Ethical Principles of the Christian Life', talks about 'The Will in Discipleship'. In that he says and I quote "Whenever you stand in the presence of Jesus Christ as He is portrayed in the Scriptures and made real to you by the Holy Spirit, the instincts of your heart will always be inspired. Let them lead...Always let the instinct that rules you in the presence of Jesus lead... When you are at the altar, i.e., in the presence of God, and your heart answers to the conviction of the Spirit of God, you know exactly what you must do. First go." Act.
Today I realized that, I was able to go to that Church zero number of days that week. I was successfully and completely distracted with a hectic work week. It was a painful realization that I was easily distracted with the mundane things of life. I have another hectic week ahead. But I believe I have made enough preparation to follow through this week. Let's see how that goes..
A few minutes later, a very well spoken lady stood before the stage, only a few feet from the first row and made a few quick announcements. She pointed to a list that was handed out earlier that listed the prayer items for the week. And that each of us should pray regardless of how bad we think we are in praying. "If you cannot pray, you learn to pray. Each of us should know how to pray aloud", she stated with no condescension. I liked that. She reminded me of a teacher that I loved as a kid, who took no excuses if we failed to do our homework. She raised the standards right away. At the end she happily announced that the pastor was back and had everyone applaud her return. Everyone stood and clapped. She quickly returned then to her seat next to her smiling husband, while another woman walked to the stage. I began to pay close attention.
This woman in her late fifties, could be in her early sixties, walked toward the same spot and started speaking. Right away you could tell that she knew everyone in the Church and everyone knew her. She seemed to pick up where she left off before she went on the break. She said that she was glad that she finally took the break, because she and her husband had been planning to go to this place for a long time. She also joked about some things she saw and did during her break. From the way she spoke, I didn't realize that her husband passed away only a few weeks before, and that she went to this place without him. Her voice broke a little, but it didn't give away any regrets or sadness. She quickly changed the topic to the the sad incident in Kenya where the people taking refuge in a Church were attacked and about 40 of them were burnt alive on January 1st. It was shockingly gruesome and was all over the news. I later found out that this was in Eldoret, Kenya and a Pastor that I communicate with regularly, and who does good work -Peter Mwangi- was right there. Here's the news article.
She said she kept thinking about how the pastor must have felt when the attackers came into the Church and that we were very fortunate such things did not happen here in the US. She said that we should all pray for them and that none of us should underestimate the power of our individual and collective prayers.
While she spoke, I realized how recently she may have been widowed. She seemed to be going through spiritual attacks after that. Her face looked old.But for all I knew, she may have lost 5 years in just those last few weeks. She used short statements while speaking. No complex sentences but was extremely eloquent. She was terse and made her point well. She didn't seem to think while talking and didn't dwell on anything for too long.
She did describe some of her 'spiritual attacks' though. And her message revolved around how to fight these "assassins of joy" back. That's what she called them. The assassins. The assassins of joy. She then went on to point out how important it is to have the Joy. She pointed to several verses (almost 15 of them) in the Scriptures that talked about Joy. It's vital that we don't lose this Joy, while we continually face situations that threaten to eliminate that very Joy, by pointing out "the reality of life", she said. Her emphasis on it was very effective. She spoke with high clarity, despite her emotional condition. She ended it empasizing that our individual prayers ARE very powerful and that we should pray relentlessly submitting our petitions to the LORD.
The offertory was held right after, where we walked to the front in a line and dropped our offerings. As I walked back, the smiling husband of the lady who spoke earlier, sitting at the end of the first row smiled and shook my hand. At the end, I walked to the front to one of the elders who were praying for others. While he prayed for me, the smiling husband began to speak in tongues around me. Earlier during the opening prayer, the pastor also spoke in tongues for long and you could feel the presence of the Spirit. Well, you don't actually feel the presence of the Spirit but here I believed the Spirit was there.
I stepped out quickly into the Lobby after that. And I noticed there were some pamphlets with some pictures. It was the pastor and her husband. That's when I gathered, how much they meant to the Church and how active and strong they both were for the Church and the Lord. Earlier when the younger lady spoke about the daily prayer, I immediately wanted to either come down during the week or just pray at this hotel where I was staying. My decision was strong. At least I thought it was. I needed to be in San Mateo from 9 to 5 every day that week, but was free in the evenings.
Oswald Chambers in his 'Series of talks on the Ethical Principles of the Christian Life', talks about 'The Will in Discipleship'. In that he says and I quote "Whenever you stand in the presence of Jesus Christ as He is portrayed in the Scriptures and made real to you by the Holy Spirit, the instincts of your heart will always be inspired. Let them lead...Always let the instinct that rules you in the presence of Jesus lead... When you are at the altar, i.e., in the presence of God, and your heart answers to the conviction of the Spirit of God, you know exactly what you must do. First go." Act.
Today I realized that, I was able to go to that Church zero number of days that week. I was successfully and completely distracted with a hectic work week. It was a painful realization that I was easily distracted with the mundane things of life. I have another hectic week ahead. But I believe I have made enough preparation to follow through this week. Let's see how that goes..
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
The Screwtape Letters..
Heard a lot about C.S.Lewis and how influential he had been as 'the most influential Christian apologists of his time' to philosophers and Christian thinkers. 'The Screwtape Letters' is the first book by this author that I picked up to read. But as reading as a habit goes, I couldn't go too far with it. I was determined to actually read this book at any cost, so I went to Barnes and Noble to buy an audio book version of it. Luckily, I found this packaged along with 'Mere Christianity' (voted best book of the twentieth century by Christianity Today magazine in 2000), 'The Problem of Pain' and 'The Great Divorce'.
I quickly picked it up, and popped the first three of five CDs, into the CD changer in my car. The first 20 min seemed non-sense. I haven't read any introduction before so I struggled to figure out the narrative. I re-started it and this time lasted about 30 min. It still seemed gibberish to me but with regards to perspective. I wasn't paying close attention and was missing the trains of thought, I realized. I restarted it again and concentrated the heck out of it.
Brilliant, funny, extremely relatable. Figured out finally that 'Screwtape' was a 'Senior' Devil, who was being a mentor to his nephew - a junior tempter - Wormwood. There were about 30 letters, each of which described in detail to Wormwood, how to gently and carefully, persuade and manipulate an unsuspecting human (here called 'the Patient') - him be a devoted Christian or a newbie to Christianity, from pursuing God ('the Enemy'), at any level of commitment and faith, that Satan ('the Father below') will be most impressed with. The most impressive aspect of this book to me at least, is the complete moral reversal that Screwtape and Wormwood seemed to enjoy. These devils' total lack of understanding of and a total lack of respect for God's Love towards humans is extremely funny.
In essence, Screwtape makes an argument for the fact that the human doesn't have to commit 'big' sins to fall away. It is the smaller sins that slowly peck at you, driving you away from the right, affecting your consciousness, creating guilt, resentment, disdain and sometimes hate towards yourself or your nearest and most loved ones. And this success (for the junior tempter Wormwood) can be achieved by a disciplined, patient and meticulous operation.
Now, good writing is always impressive if it can justify its trains of thought and arrive at a good conclusion and make a breakthrough. But this book is amazing. And the noteable fact that each letter starts with 'My Dear Wormwood', ends with 'Your affectionate Uncle, Screwtape' and is very effectively narrated by 'Joss Ackland' with his base voice and the very appropriate accent, didn't hurt the book at all. From my perspective, Screwtape lists down pretty much all things, as should be performed and achieved by Wormwood, that people go through their lives, as far as mental and spiritual conflicts go. I am sure these are common to most Christians, but I don't believe this book would have made the impact that it did now, if I had picked it up casually say, a year ago.
I can only sincerely hope for anyone who picks up this book, that it makes a strong impact on their lives.
I quickly picked it up, and popped the first three of five CDs, into the CD changer in my car. The first 20 min seemed non-sense. I haven't read any introduction before so I struggled to figure out the narrative. I re-started it and this time lasted about 30 min. It still seemed gibberish to me but with regards to perspective. I wasn't paying close attention and was missing the trains of thought, I realized. I restarted it again and concentrated the heck out of it.
Brilliant, funny, extremely relatable. Figured out finally that 'Screwtape' was a 'Senior' Devil, who was being a mentor to his nephew - a junior tempter - Wormwood. There were about 30 letters, each of which described in detail to Wormwood, how to gently and carefully, persuade and manipulate an unsuspecting human (here called 'the Patient') - him be a devoted Christian or a newbie to Christianity, from pursuing God ('the Enemy'), at any level of commitment and faith, that Satan ('the Father below') will be most impressed with. The most impressive aspect of this book to me at least, is the complete moral reversal that Screwtape and Wormwood seemed to enjoy. These devils' total lack of understanding of and a total lack of respect for God's Love towards humans is extremely funny.
In essence, Screwtape makes an argument for the fact that the human doesn't have to commit 'big' sins to fall away. It is the smaller sins that slowly peck at you, driving you away from the right, affecting your consciousness, creating guilt, resentment, disdain and sometimes hate towards yourself or your nearest and most loved ones. And this success (for the junior tempter Wormwood) can be achieved by a disciplined, patient and meticulous operation.
Now, good writing is always impressive if it can justify its trains of thought and arrive at a good conclusion and make a breakthrough. But this book is amazing. And the noteable fact that each letter starts with 'My Dear Wormwood', ends with 'Your affectionate Uncle, Screwtape' and is very effectively narrated by 'Joss Ackland' with his base voice and the very appropriate accent, didn't hurt the book at all. From my perspective, Screwtape lists down pretty much all things, as should be performed and achieved by Wormwood, that people go through their lives, as far as mental and spiritual conflicts go. I am sure these are common to most Christians, but I don't believe this book would have made the impact that it did now, if I had picked it up casually say, a year ago.
I can only sincerely hope for anyone who picks up this book, that it makes a strong impact on their lives.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Freaky but very real...
Haven't believed in evil forces for most of my life. For a 'true Christian' this shouldn't be the case. I was born in a Christian family that was fairly spiritual, but I realized my values and virtues didn't always go hand in hand with the Christian values and virtues. I was always aware of my strong 'conscience' nevertheless. I would often go to the edge of a 'clear' pursuit, will almost experience something pure and powerful, but rush back to normalcy, to the 'real world' because of this morbid fear that I may be hallucinating. There were several times that I would be 'instructed' by my own conscience, to get up and rush and do something, as small as mailing something whose deadline's approaching that I put off, contacting a friend that I haven't talked to in a while, or as big as looking for a new apartment and move. Most of the time they would turn out to be the right things to do. Although I liked being instructed this way and enjoyed following the 'instructions', I was very keenly aware that this would be perceived as 'impractical' and 'emotionally driven' by most people.
That said, over the last few months I have been speaking with people in my family and relatives, and found out that the reality of evil forces is very perceivable. Several of them had various experiences. One of my relatives on my mom's side, probably had the most, but I don't qualify yet for her to confide in me with these things. One person's experience goes as follows... while taking a short nap on a cold evening, she experienced something like a hairy dog jumping on top of the covers, and when she tried to push it away, it wouldn't move.. she couldn't talk or scream, her voice wouldn't even come out... and finally a chant of 'victory through Jesus' Name', 'victory through blood of Jesus' and 'victory through the blood on the cross' would eventually get rid of this 'evil force'. I was confused, but I believed her when she told me, because this was right after it happened. And I was right in the next room when it happened.
Another one's experience goes like this. I was told all of this, many years after they actually happened, when I specifically asked about such experiences. This person, when she was about 16 yrs, used to 'see' a very specific figure almost every night for about 7 years, until she was almost 23. The face of the figure wouldn't change. This figure would appear almost as soon as she was in bed ready to sleep, or sometimes when she woke in the middle of the night. The experience freaked the heck out of her, she would turn and tell a few members of the family. Some believed her and prayed for her, but others wouldn't believe although all were believers. She got used to it slowly and towards the end of the 7 years, she would accept it as almost normal and she would say to herself, 'oh! it's you again' when she saw the figure. The figure never really made a sound, but it always lurked. She still sees this figure on occasion now, over 20 yrs after it first happened.
The third person's experience, although I didn't hear this first hand, goes like this. This person bought a new house in the US and after moving in tried to sleep in the bedroom in the new bed. Almost every night for a week, he would hear strange sounds and noises, like dishes clanging, mild screams, and an experience of extreme fear and inability to scream or even say anything. He moved out of the house in a week and sold it with the furniture inside.
I am thinking now, if these experiences are so common, how come I haven't heard about these or experienced any such for over 30 years of my life, and suddenly I hear about 3 different and distinct ones. I realized then that people usually don't share them with you unless you were experiencing something similar, or when they sense a risk or possibility of its quick and casual dismissal.
During this time, I have been getting extremely close to God, thanks to a few people in my life and clear spiritual guidance. I have been experiencing the peace of the heart whenever I prayed to the Heavenly Father. It is an understatement when I say that there was a strong growing need to 'know' God. I would go into my bedroom and pray for hours. The urge to pray often was simply unmistakable and inescapable. I read a little of Oswald Chambers, which seemed to break through a lot of barriers and blocks, that have been keeping me from praying and reading the Bible. I started reading the Bible like crazy, with new openness, with new curiosity... this time with intentions to get some answers out of it. I also picked up a lot of books recommended by a family member and started reading them like crazy. One of which was 'I dared to call Him Father' by Bilquis Sheikh. It was about a Pakistani Elite Muslim woman, who spiritually experienced and found Christ, in her 50s. In her book among other things, she writes about 2 specific dark experiences, the first one once touched her hand and lurked in the room, but the second one threw her off her bed in the middle of her sleep.
I now became more aware of such evil spiritual experiences and increasingly wondered about them. But I tried to keep my perspective and during this time I read books such as 'Knowing God' by J. I. Packer; books by R.C. Sproul like 'The Mystery of The Holy Spirit' and 'The Holiness of God'; 'The Screwtape Letters', 'Mere Christianity' and 'The problem of Pain' by C.S. Lewis; 'The Cross and the Switchblade' by David Wilkerson; '90 Minutes in Heaven' by Don Piper; just so I pursue the right objectives. I went through these books so fast, trying to absorb and retain as much as I could. I also wondered if I will ever go through such experiences myself, although it doesn't sound a least bit desirable.
On Friday, the 20th of April 2007, I was getting ready to sleep in my bedroom, in our fairly new apartment in Hyderabad, India. My mom was in her bedroom. And my Aunt and my 7 year old niece were also in the apartment in a different bedroom. It was the night before I was to return to the US, after a 3 week trip. I was to catch an Emirates Flight (will never fly Emirates again, for various reasons) at 10 am the next morning. I was all set and packed and everyone else was pretty much asleep. I couldn't fall asleep. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular but was a little restless. I would doze off a little but quickly wake up and would look to see if anyone's in the room. C'mon you're just freaking out, I would tell myself and try to fall asleep. After a few of times of that, I actually fell asleep.
After about an hour, I was asleep on my right side, my bed is against the wall at the head and there's a mirror on the opposite wall where you could see yourself from the bed, if the room is lit enough, I hear a voice/sound in my left ear, as if it's coming from the wall. The voice was very clear and distinct. It was a male voice that was as if modified using a megaphone (only, it's not so loud) and it sounded something like 'Heeeeyyyyyoooouuuuggggh'. It was an extended and modified 'hey'. I woke up right away. I looked around and found no one. I immediately knew what it could be. I straightened. Nothing happened for about 3 seconds. Then my body started shaking. It was not shivering out of fear or cold, but was shaking. I could feel my shoulders shaking, my head shaking, and my legs shaking. It went on. Lot of thoughts in my head. My first thought was, hmmm.. so this is what it is. I was amused. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't screaming, I wasn't petrified. It was as if I was adamant. Like I heard so much about you, am not really scared. All these thoughts ran through in the first few seconds. And the shaking wouldn't stop by itself. I lifted my head to see if it would stop. I was still shaking. It was as if someone was holding my whole body and was shaking me. After about 8-10 seconds, I started clearly saying 'Victory through the Blood of Christ', 'Victory through the Name of Jesus'. I could say it out. Nothing was stopping me from saying anything. The shaking still didn't stop. I was not amused anymore. It was like I just realized how serious this was. I kept repeating the same words for another 10-15 seconds. It stopped suddenly. It wasn't like it slowly died down. It seemed as if the person shaking me suddenly stopped and walked away. I just lay there for about 30 seconds trying to digest what happened. Then some pride kicked in. I quickly got up and checked my mom's bedroom. She was asleep peacefully. I walked through the hall and checked the other bedroom, my Aunt and niece were asleep too. I walked into the kitchen and everything seemed normal. I guess the whole thing wasn't as loud and noisy as it seemed to me.
I came back to bed and couldn't fall asleep. Now I was scared as heck. I started feeling weird. My stomach became stiff. Never experienced that before. It was like Nausea and cramp in the abs muscles combined.. an odd feeling. I guess I was really physically shaken for about 30 seconds. That's significant. I took the Bible on my bed and put it on my chest and closed my eyes.
I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. I got up at about 5:30 got ready and went to the airport by 8:00, said goodbye to the family and caught the flight. Although, a lot of people said I looked like crap, I just told them that I didn't sleep. Nothing else. Had to figure out what it was first.
Nothing significant happened soon after that, and I didn't want to think much about it. Came back to the US and resumed life here. Nothing really happened until 20 days later.
On Thursday, the 10th of May, I was sleeping peacefully in my bedroom of my 2-bedroom apartment in Woodbridge NJ. There was no anxiety or anything before. It was a normal day. I slept peacefully, until about 3:30 am, when suddenly something woke me up. Now this experience was totally different. I couldn't move. I couldn't move at all, not even my neck, up or sideways. I couldn't move period. Actually, I could only open one eye.. and even with that I struggled. The light was on. I fell asleep reading some thing, so my glasses were still on. Even the eye that was open would only open partially, through a slit.. could see the frame of the glasses. It was as if someone, very strong was holding my whole body down.. and they could even control my eyes through the glasses. It was weird. Suddenly I realized my arms were above my head, on the headboard. This was scary. The only movement, I realized I could make, was my right eye lid. This was extremely scary. I started saying something. Couldn't say anything aloud. It was like I was being choked, but not hard.. just enough to prevent me from talking. I started thinking the same words that rescued me the last time. I couldn't frame them right quickly. Gaining more determination, I forced myself to say the words aloud. I almost screamed them aloud. This experience lasted almost a minute. I could feel the strength that was holding me down. I could see nothing though.. nothing at all. Then it was finally gone. A minute is a long time, for such an experience. I felt scared yet strangely steady. I just lay there for a while.. brought my hands to my side slowly. No marks on them. This time however, no nausea.. no stomach ache. Just awareness that this thing is very very real... and common.
I also had this strange calm feeling, a still confidence that God is with me.. He will protect me from any such forces, and there's nothing really to be afraid of, as long as I use His Name against such forces. I feel strangely privileged.. extremely privileged, humble yet steady, and ready.
That said, over the last few months I have been speaking with people in my family and relatives, and found out that the reality of evil forces is very perceivable. Several of them had various experiences. One of my relatives on my mom's side, probably had the most, but I don't qualify yet for her to confide in me with these things. One person's experience goes as follows... while taking a short nap on a cold evening, she experienced something like a hairy dog jumping on top of the covers, and when she tried to push it away, it wouldn't move.. she couldn't talk or scream, her voice wouldn't even come out... and finally a chant of 'victory through Jesus' Name', 'victory through blood of Jesus' and 'victory through the blood on the cross' would eventually get rid of this 'evil force'. I was confused, but I believed her when she told me, because this was right after it happened. And I was right in the next room when it happened.
Another one's experience goes like this. I was told all of this, many years after they actually happened, when I specifically asked about such experiences. This person, when she was about 16 yrs, used to 'see' a very specific figure almost every night for about 7 years, until she was almost 23. The face of the figure wouldn't change. This figure would appear almost as soon as she was in bed ready to sleep, or sometimes when she woke in the middle of the night. The experience freaked the heck out of her, she would turn and tell a few members of the family. Some believed her and prayed for her, but others wouldn't believe although all were believers. She got used to it slowly and towards the end of the 7 years, she would accept it as almost normal and she would say to herself, 'oh! it's you again' when she saw the figure. The figure never really made a sound, but it always lurked. She still sees this figure on occasion now, over 20 yrs after it first happened.
The third person's experience, although I didn't hear this first hand, goes like this. This person bought a new house in the US and after moving in tried to sleep in the bedroom in the new bed. Almost every night for a week, he would hear strange sounds and noises, like dishes clanging, mild screams, and an experience of extreme fear and inability to scream or even say anything. He moved out of the house in a week and sold it with the furniture inside.
I am thinking now, if these experiences are so common, how come I haven't heard about these or experienced any such for over 30 years of my life, and suddenly I hear about 3 different and distinct ones. I realized then that people usually don't share them with you unless you were experiencing something similar, or when they sense a risk or possibility of its quick and casual dismissal.
During this time, I have been getting extremely close to God, thanks to a few people in my life and clear spiritual guidance. I have been experiencing the peace of the heart whenever I prayed to the Heavenly Father. It is an understatement when I say that there was a strong growing need to 'know' God. I would go into my bedroom and pray for hours. The urge to pray often was simply unmistakable and inescapable. I read a little of Oswald Chambers, which seemed to break through a lot of barriers and blocks, that have been keeping me from praying and reading the Bible. I started reading the Bible like crazy, with new openness, with new curiosity... this time with intentions to get some answers out of it. I also picked up a lot of books recommended by a family member and started reading them like crazy. One of which was 'I dared to call Him Father' by Bilquis Sheikh. It was about a Pakistani Elite Muslim woman, who spiritually experienced and found Christ, in her 50s. In her book among other things, she writes about 2 specific dark experiences, the first one once touched her hand and lurked in the room, but the second one threw her off her bed in the middle of her sleep.
I now became more aware of such evil spiritual experiences and increasingly wondered about them. But I tried to keep my perspective and during this time I read books such as 'Knowing God' by J. I. Packer; books by R.C. Sproul like 'The Mystery of The Holy Spirit' and 'The Holiness of God'; 'The Screwtape Letters', 'Mere Christianity' and 'The problem of Pain' by C.S. Lewis; 'The Cross and the Switchblade' by David Wilkerson; '90 Minutes in Heaven' by Don Piper; just so I pursue the right objectives. I went through these books so fast, trying to absorb and retain as much as I could. I also wondered if I will ever go through such experiences myself, although it doesn't sound a least bit desirable.
On Friday, the 20th of April 2007, I was getting ready to sleep in my bedroom, in our fairly new apartment in Hyderabad, India. My mom was in her bedroom. And my Aunt and my 7 year old niece were also in the apartment in a different bedroom. It was the night before I was to return to the US, after a 3 week trip. I was to catch an Emirates Flight (will never fly Emirates again, for various reasons) at 10 am the next morning. I was all set and packed and everyone else was pretty much asleep. I couldn't fall asleep. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular but was a little restless. I would doze off a little but quickly wake up and would look to see if anyone's in the room. C'mon you're just freaking out, I would tell myself and try to fall asleep. After a few of times of that, I actually fell asleep.
After about an hour, I was asleep on my right side, my bed is against the wall at the head and there's a mirror on the opposite wall where you could see yourself from the bed, if the room is lit enough, I hear a voice/sound in my left ear, as if it's coming from the wall. The voice was very clear and distinct. It was a male voice that was as if modified using a megaphone (only, it's not so loud) and it sounded something like 'Heeeeyyyyyoooouuuuggggh'. It was an extended and modified 'hey'. I woke up right away. I looked around and found no one. I immediately knew what it could be. I straightened. Nothing happened for about 3 seconds. Then my body started shaking. It was not shivering out of fear or cold, but was shaking. I could feel my shoulders shaking, my head shaking, and my legs shaking. It went on. Lot of thoughts in my head. My first thought was, hmmm.. so this is what it is. I was amused. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't screaming, I wasn't petrified. It was as if I was adamant. Like I heard so much about you, am not really scared. All these thoughts ran through in the first few seconds. And the shaking wouldn't stop by itself. I lifted my head to see if it would stop. I was still shaking. It was as if someone was holding my whole body and was shaking me. After about 8-10 seconds, I started clearly saying 'Victory through the Blood of Christ', 'Victory through the Name of Jesus'. I could say it out. Nothing was stopping me from saying anything. The shaking still didn't stop. I was not amused anymore. It was like I just realized how serious this was. I kept repeating the same words for another 10-15 seconds. It stopped suddenly. It wasn't like it slowly died down. It seemed as if the person shaking me suddenly stopped and walked away. I just lay there for about 30 seconds trying to digest what happened. Then some pride kicked in. I quickly got up and checked my mom's bedroom. She was asleep peacefully. I walked through the hall and checked the other bedroom, my Aunt and niece were asleep too. I walked into the kitchen and everything seemed normal. I guess the whole thing wasn't as loud and noisy as it seemed to me.
I came back to bed and couldn't fall asleep. Now I was scared as heck. I started feeling weird. My stomach became stiff. Never experienced that before. It was like Nausea and cramp in the abs muscles combined.. an odd feeling. I guess I was really physically shaken for about 30 seconds. That's significant. I took the Bible on my bed and put it on my chest and closed my eyes.
I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. I got up at about 5:30 got ready and went to the airport by 8:00, said goodbye to the family and caught the flight. Although, a lot of people said I looked like crap, I just told them that I didn't sleep. Nothing else. Had to figure out what it was first.
Nothing significant happened soon after that, and I didn't want to think much about it. Came back to the US and resumed life here. Nothing really happened until 20 days later.
On Thursday, the 10th of May, I was sleeping peacefully in my bedroom of my 2-bedroom apartment in Woodbridge NJ. There was no anxiety or anything before. It was a normal day. I slept peacefully, until about 3:30 am, when suddenly something woke me up. Now this experience was totally different. I couldn't move. I couldn't move at all, not even my neck, up or sideways. I couldn't move period. Actually, I could only open one eye.. and even with that I struggled. The light was on. I fell asleep reading some thing, so my glasses were still on. Even the eye that was open would only open partially, through a slit.. could see the frame of the glasses. It was as if someone, very strong was holding my whole body down.. and they could even control my eyes through the glasses. It was weird. Suddenly I realized my arms were above my head, on the headboard. This was scary. The only movement, I realized I could make, was my right eye lid. This was extremely scary. I started saying something. Couldn't say anything aloud. It was like I was being choked, but not hard.. just enough to prevent me from talking. I started thinking the same words that rescued me the last time. I couldn't frame them right quickly. Gaining more determination, I forced myself to say the words aloud. I almost screamed them aloud. This experience lasted almost a minute. I could feel the strength that was holding me down. I could see nothing though.. nothing at all. Then it was finally gone. A minute is a long time, for such an experience. I felt scared yet strangely steady. I just lay there for a while.. brought my hands to my side slowly. No marks on them. This time however, no nausea.. no stomach ache. Just awareness that this thing is very very real... and common.
I also had this strange calm feeling, a still confidence that God is with me.. He will protect me from any such forces, and there's nothing really to be afraid of, as long as I use His Name against such forces. I feel strangely privileged.. extremely privileged, humble yet steady, and ready.
Friday, December 16, 2005
"thoughts arrive like butterflies.."
To be more introspective and also see what’s out there, why does it seem near impossible to deal with the concept of God? I grew up a Christian in a country of non-Christian majority. I sincerely believed in God all through my life, but some how it always seems like I have had to take a dual stance on God when it came to day-to-day matters.
When I think of all the good things that happened to me all through my life, I feel extremely grateful to a higher power, in my case the God that I believe in – God the father, Jesus Christ the son and the Holy Spirit. I feel overwhelmed by how much I am blessed. When I go to Church, I listen to a sermon with an open heart and see what I need to do to be a better Christian.
On the other paw, I work as a software engineer, where I work fundamentally on the basis of Logic. I have learned to be very logical in building software solutions and solving problems. And I have learned and seen that it works perfectly that way.
Now why do I have such a hard time reconciling these two facets of my world? When I do my work, it seems only natural that I do not involve the God concept. It’s what is logical. And it works well, totally relying on Logic. At the same time, when I am being helpful to others, go out of my way to do what I feel is the right thing, I feel very good in my heart and I sincerely believe that God is watching and I may be blessed for all the good that I do and I may be forgiven for all the bad that I do.
Now why isn’t this enough according to a lot of respectable preachers? Have I not evolved enough as a Christian? Am I thinking like a 13 year old kid, when I am more than twice that old? Have I been stuck in too simple a logic, which I am refusing to come out of? Do I not get it? Am I not following it right? Do I not have the intelligence to pursue the more intricate but absolute and fundamental aspects of God and still make it in this world? Do I have to separate myself completely from the worldly things, to be a good Christian?
Or are they all feeding me lies? Are all the statements made - that I have to turn myself around completely to be a Christian, just mere attempts to make a powerful statement?
Now when you go to Church and you listen to a sermon, you pretty much hear this almost every week. That, to be a Christian means that you have to make a complete turn around. That is a very powerful statement, when you say it. But it could mean very different things to different people. At what point do you stop turning around? I haven’t heard one sermon that defined this clearly.
When you preach to others do you also take responsibility of making the people understand? Or is it enough to make a very categorical and absolute statement and leave it to interpretations. Isn’t it necessary to make a good breakthrough? Isn’t it necessary to resolve an issue? Isn’t it absolutely necessary that you address all the issues that you raise?
This is not to say that I haven’t heard an intelligent sermon at all. There is one Church I had attended a few times in Northern Kentucky, and I believe that the preacher there is truly blessed. If anyone is ever qualified to be a preacher I believe this man is. I truly saw him addressing the day-to-day things in life, within all the right contexts.
In contrast, I reluctantly listen to some radio sermons. Most of them seem like they are coming out of the preachers’ past experiences. They don’t seem like they come right out of the Bible. Now, if the preachers really want to pour their heart out, shouldn’t they write a song and just play it to the public and see who gets it? Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam does that and does he do it well! Believe it or not, he’s got some great song writing in there. He is pouring his heart out, in such a cryptic way that when you actually read about what it’s really about somewhere, you feel unbelievably akin.
So, why take the podium and preach as if that’s absolute? If you are preaching a sermon, shouldn’t you believe that people take it seriously and so word things responsibly? Does everyone have a right to preach? Should it be left to the listeners to determine who is actually worth listening to? If that is the case, what’s the basis used to qualify?
When I think of all the good things that happened to me all through my life, I feel extremely grateful to a higher power, in my case the God that I believe in – God the father, Jesus Christ the son and the Holy Spirit. I feel overwhelmed by how much I am blessed. When I go to Church, I listen to a sermon with an open heart and see what I need to do to be a better Christian.
On the other paw, I work as a software engineer, where I work fundamentally on the basis of Logic. I have learned to be very logical in building software solutions and solving problems. And I have learned and seen that it works perfectly that way.
Now why do I have such a hard time reconciling these two facets of my world? When I do my work, it seems only natural that I do not involve the God concept. It’s what is logical. And it works well, totally relying on Logic. At the same time, when I am being helpful to others, go out of my way to do what I feel is the right thing, I feel very good in my heart and I sincerely believe that God is watching and I may be blessed for all the good that I do and I may be forgiven for all the bad that I do.
Now why isn’t this enough according to a lot of respectable preachers? Have I not evolved enough as a Christian? Am I thinking like a 13 year old kid, when I am more than twice that old? Have I been stuck in too simple a logic, which I am refusing to come out of? Do I not get it? Am I not following it right? Do I not have the intelligence to pursue the more intricate but absolute and fundamental aspects of God and still make it in this world? Do I have to separate myself completely from the worldly things, to be a good Christian?
Or are they all feeding me lies? Are all the statements made - that I have to turn myself around completely to be a Christian, just mere attempts to make a powerful statement?
Now when you go to Church and you listen to a sermon, you pretty much hear this almost every week. That, to be a Christian means that you have to make a complete turn around. That is a very powerful statement, when you say it. But it could mean very different things to different people. At what point do you stop turning around? I haven’t heard one sermon that defined this clearly.
When you preach to others do you also take responsibility of making the people understand? Or is it enough to make a very categorical and absolute statement and leave it to interpretations. Isn’t it necessary to make a good breakthrough? Isn’t it necessary to resolve an issue? Isn’t it absolutely necessary that you address all the issues that you raise?
This is not to say that I haven’t heard an intelligent sermon at all. There is one Church I had attended a few times in Northern Kentucky, and I believe that the preacher there is truly blessed. If anyone is ever qualified to be a preacher I believe this man is. I truly saw him addressing the day-to-day things in life, within all the right contexts.
In contrast, I reluctantly listen to some radio sermons. Most of them seem like they are coming out of the preachers’ past experiences. They don’t seem like they come right out of the Bible. Now, if the preachers really want to pour their heart out, shouldn’t they write a song and just play it to the public and see who gets it? Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam does that and does he do it well! Believe it or not, he’s got some great song writing in there. He is pouring his heart out, in such a cryptic way that when you actually read about what it’s really about somewhere, you feel unbelievably akin.
So, why take the podium and preach as if that’s absolute? If you are preaching a sermon, shouldn’t you believe that people take it seriously and so word things responsibly? Does everyone have a right to preach? Should it be left to the listeners to determine who is actually worth listening to? If that is the case, what’s the basis used to qualify?
Friday, January 28, 2005
is there a limit to the drama?
Amazed I am at the generosity of several individuals who collectively and singularly came forward to help and donate to the Tsunami victims. People learned a lot more than the local news channels were willing to share, about the magnitude of the tragedy and the damage it caused. This says a lot about the intelligence of common people. They wisely and justifiably did not rely on the (local) TV news too much for their information and were willing to probe any resources available.
Born and brought up in one of the lesser hit areas (by the Tsunami), I have to admit that several Americans, who have never been to these areas - affected to any extent by the Tsunami - seemed to have more details of the damage and destruction than what I managed to gather. The support from the people - especially from the least patronizing - has been unbelievably gratifying. It's defintely the people, that the country should be proud of, than any of it's other strengths.
Flabbergasted I was when a local TV news channel described the Tsunami and the lowly local rain storm (if you can call it that) in the same breath, raising the question - is there a limit to the drama?
Born and brought up in one of the lesser hit areas (by the Tsunami), I have to admit that several Americans, who have never been to these areas - affected to any extent by the Tsunami - seemed to have more details of the damage and destruction than what I managed to gather. The support from the people - especially from the least patronizing - has been unbelievably gratifying. It's defintely the people, that the country should be proud of, than any of it's other strengths.
Flabbergasted I was when a local TV news channel described the Tsunami and the lowly local rain storm (if you can call it that) in the same breath, raising the question - is there a limit to the drama?
'grasping at straws'
Still trying to find a handle here. Too many things to say, cannot really articulate yet. Waiting for 'da bomb' of a thought to go off in my head which I sincerely believe will be able to roll with.
Timing is a tricky thing and so is Patience.
Timing is a tricky thing and so is Patience.
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