Freaky but very real...

Haven't believed in evil forces for most of my life. For a 'true Christian' this shouldn't be the case. I was born in a Christian family that was fairly spiritual, but I realized my values and virtues didn't always go hand in hand with the Christian values and virtues. I was always aware of my strong 'conscience' nevertheless. I would often go to the edge of a 'clear' pursuit, will almost experience something pure and powerful, but rush back to normalcy, to the 'real world' because of this morbid fear that I may be hallucinating. There were several times that I would be 'instructed' by my own conscience, to get up and rush and do something, as small as mailing something whose deadline's approaching that I put off, contacting a friend that I haven't talked to in a while, or as big as looking for a new apartment and move. Most of the time they would turn out to be the right things to do. Although I liked being instructed this way and enjoyed following the 'instructions', I was very keenly aware that this would be perceived as 'impractical' and 'emotionally driven' by most people.

That said, over the last few months I have been speaking with people in my family and relatives, and found out that the reality of evil forces is very perceivable. Several of them had various experiences. One of my relatives on my mom's side, probably had the most, but I don't qualify yet for her to confide in me with these things. One person's experience goes as follows... while taking a short nap on a cold evening, she experienced something like a hairy dog jumping on top of the covers, and when she tried to push it away, it wouldn't move.. she couldn't talk or scream, her voice wouldn't even come out... and finally a chant of 'victory through Jesus' Name', 'victory through blood of Jesus' and 'victory through the blood on the cross' would eventually get rid of this 'evil force'. I was confused, but I believed her when she told me, because this was right after it happened. And I was right in the next room when it happened.

Another one's experience goes like this. I was told all of this, many years after they actually happened, when I specifically asked about such experiences. This person, when she was about 16 yrs, used to 'see' a very specific figure almost every night for about 7 years, until she was almost 23. The face of the figure wouldn't change. This figure would appear almost as soon as she was in bed ready to sleep, or sometimes when she woke in the middle of the night. The experience freaked the heck out of her, she would turn and tell a few members of the family. Some believed her and prayed for her, but others wouldn't believe although all were believers. She got used to it slowly and towards the end of the 7 years, she would accept it as almost normal and she would say to herself, 'oh! it's you again' when she saw the figure. The figure never really made a sound, but it always lurked. She still sees this figure on occasion now, over 20 yrs after it first happened.

The third person's experience, although I didn't hear this first hand, goes like this. This person bought a new house in the US and after moving in tried to sleep in the bedroom in the new bed. Almost every night for a week, he would hear strange sounds and noises, like dishes clanging, mild screams, and an experience of extreme fear and inability to scream or even say anything. He moved out of the house in a week and sold it with the furniture inside.

I am thinking now, if these experiences are so common, how come I haven't heard about these or experienced any such for over 30 years of my life, and suddenly I hear about 3 different and distinct ones. I realized then that people usually don't share them with you unless you were experiencing something similar, or when they sense a risk or possibility of its quick and casual dismissal.

During this time, I have been getting extremely close to God, thanks to a few people in my life and clear spiritual guidance. I have been experiencing the peace of the heart whenever I prayed to the Heavenly Father. It is an understatement when I say that there was a strong growing need to 'know' God. I would go into my bedroom and pray for hours. The urge to pray often was simply unmistakable and inescapable. I read a little of Oswald Chambers, which seemed to break through a lot of barriers and blocks, that have been keeping me from praying and reading the Bible. I started reading the Bible like crazy, with new openness, with new curiosity... this time with intentions to get some answers out of it. I also picked up a lot of books recommended by a family member and started reading them like crazy. One of which was 'I dared to call Him Father' by Bilquis Sheikh. It was about a Pakistani Elite Muslim woman, who spiritually experienced and found Christ, in her 50s. In her book among other things, she writes about 2 specific dark experiences, the first one once touched her hand and lurked in the room, but the second one threw her off her bed in the middle of her sleep.

I now became more aware of such evil spiritual experiences and increasingly wondered about them. But I tried to keep my perspective and during this time I read books such as 'Knowing God' by J. I. Packer; books by R.C. Sproul like 'The Mystery of The Holy Spirit' and 'The Holiness of God'; 'The Screwtape Letters', 'Mere Christianity' and 'The problem of Pain' by C.S. Lewis; 'The Cross and the Switchblade' by David Wilkerson; '90 Minutes in Heaven' by Don Piper; just so I pursue the right objectives. I went through these books so fast, trying to absorb and retain as much as I could. I also wondered if I will ever go through such experiences myself, although it doesn't sound a least bit desirable.

On Friday, the 20th of April 2007, I was getting ready to sleep in my bedroom, in our fairly new apartment in Hyderabad, India. My mom was in her bedroom. And my Aunt and my 7 year old niece were also in the apartment in a different bedroom. It was the night before I was to return to the US, after a 3 week trip. I was to catch an Emirates Flight (will never fly Emirates again, for various reasons) at 10 am the next morning. I was all set and packed and everyone else was pretty much asleep. I couldn't fall asleep. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular but was a little restless. I would doze off a little but quickly wake up and would look to see if anyone's in the room. C'mon you're just freaking out, I would tell myself and try to fall asleep. After a few of times of that, I actually fell asleep.

After about an hour, I was asleep on my right side, my bed is against the wall at the head and there's a mirror on the opposite wall where you could see yourself from the bed, if the room is lit enough, I hear a voice/sound in my left ear, as if it's coming from the wall. The voice was very clear and distinct. It was a male voice that was as if modified using a megaphone (only, it's not so loud) and it sounded something like 'Heeeeyyyyyoooouuuuggggh'. It was an extended and modified 'hey'. I woke up right away. I looked around and found no one. I immediately knew what it could be. I straightened. Nothing happened for about 3 seconds. Then my body started shaking. It was not shivering out of fear or cold, but was shaking. I could feel my shoulders shaking, my head shaking, and my legs shaking. It went on. Lot of thoughts in my head. My first thought was, hmmm.. so this is what it is. I was amused. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't screaming, I wasn't petrified. It was as if I was adamant. Like I heard so much about you, am not really scared. All these thoughts ran through in the first few seconds. And the shaking wouldn't stop by itself. I lifted my head to see if it would stop. I was still shaking. It was as if someone was holding my whole body and was shaking me. After about 8-10 seconds, I started clearly saying 'Victory through the Blood of Christ', 'Victory through the Name of Jesus'. I could say it out. Nothing was stopping me from saying anything. The shaking still didn't stop. I was not amused anymore. It was like I just realized how serious this was. I kept repeating the same words for another 10-15 seconds. It stopped suddenly. It wasn't like it slowly died down. It seemed as if the person shaking me suddenly stopped and walked away. I just lay there for about 30 seconds trying to digest what happened. Then some pride kicked in. I quickly got up and checked my mom's bedroom. She was asleep peacefully. I walked through the hall and checked the other bedroom, my Aunt and niece were asleep too. I walked into the kitchen and everything seemed normal. I guess the whole thing wasn't as loud and noisy as it seemed to me.

I came back to bed and couldn't fall asleep. Now I was scared as heck. I started feeling weird. My stomach became stiff. Never experienced that before. It was like Nausea and cramp in the abs muscles combined.. an odd feeling. I guess I was really physically shaken for about 30 seconds. That's significant. I took the Bible on my bed and put it on my chest and closed my eyes.

I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. I got up at about 5:30 got ready and went to the airport by 8:00, said goodbye to the family and caught the flight. Although, a lot of people said I looked like crap, I just told them that I didn't sleep. Nothing else. Had to figure out what it was first.

Nothing significant happened soon after that, and I didn't want to think much about it. Came back to the US and resumed life here. Nothing really happened until 20 days later.

On Thursday, the 10th of May, I was sleeping peacefully in my bedroom of my 2-bedroom apartment in Woodbridge NJ. There was no anxiety or anything before. It was a normal day. I slept peacefully, until about 3:30 am, when suddenly something woke me up. Now this experience was totally different. I couldn't move. I couldn't move at all, not even my neck, up or sideways. I couldn't move period. Actually, I could only open one eye.. and even with that I struggled. The light was on. I fell asleep reading some thing, so my glasses were still on. Even the eye that was open would only open partially, through a slit.. could see the frame of the glasses. It was as if someone, very strong was holding my whole body down.. and they could even control my eyes through the glasses. It was weird. Suddenly I realized my arms were above my head, on the headboard. This was scary. The only movement, I realized I could make, was my right eye lid. This was extremely scary. I started saying something. Couldn't say anything aloud. It was like I was being choked, but not hard.. just enough to prevent me from talking. I started thinking the same words that rescued me the last time. I couldn't frame them right quickly. Gaining more determination, I forced myself to say the words aloud. I almost screamed them aloud. This experience lasted almost a minute. I could feel the strength that was holding me down. I could see nothing though.. nothing at all. Then it was finally gone. A minute is a long time, for such an experience. I felt scared yet strangely steady. I just lay there for a while.. brought my hands to my side slowly. No marks on them. This time however, no nausea.. no stomach ache. Just awareness that this thing is very very real... and common.
I also had this strange calm feeling, a still confidence that God is with me.. He will protect me from any such forces, and there's nothing really to be afraid of, as long as I use His Name against such forces. I feel strangely privileged.. extremely privileged, humble yet steady, and ready.