Resilience

Dictionary.com describes this word as
noun
1. the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
2. ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

Merriam Websters describes it as
noun
Date: 1824
1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress
2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

The Superbowl Winning 2008 New York Giants used another form of this word (Resiliency) as their 'power' word or slogan or self-attributed strength if you will, at the beginning of the Superbowl. Here's a team whose Quarterback Eli Manning was criticized for his mild demeanor and lack of leadership skills all season; a team which was a wild card entry into the NFC play offs; a team that was an underdog during all of their play off games; a team who had to play all their playoff games on the road, against teams like the Buccaneers (#4), the Cowboys (#1) and finally the Packers (#2) in order to win the NFC championships. On the other paw, their losing opponents the AFC Champions New England Patriots - the team which had a perfect season; a team which was 18-0 coming into Superbowl; a team that was slated to follow the 70's 49'ers and the 90's cowboys as a dynasty; - used 'team-work' to describe their biggest strength. I can see why that failed!

We hear this word resilience all the time in our every day lives in this country. Motivational speakers make millions just describing instances of people's lives where they showed unnatural strength during times of adversity. It's a common buzz word in MBA courses when addressing ways to recover from business failures. Scores of young successful movie stars check themselves into re-hab for one reason or the other. Evidently they aren't listening to the right speeches.

To digress a little, I was watching the actor Russell Crowe in his interview with James Lipton in 'Inside the Actors Studio' on bravo (originally aired on 1/4/2004). In that while answering Lipton's question on how he prepares for a role, Crowe said (paraphrasing) "Preparation and research is a privilege. I love to do it for a role. I also know, I absolutely know that the more I put into it, the more is apparent on the Screen....". And about how much he feels privileged to work as an actor, he said "The producers and writers put so much trust in you, in you who has nothing vested into the role yet, while they have everything invested into it, that it's humbling. It's humbling to know that they trust in you enough and pay you enough wads of cash, that I cannot but bring myself to do whatever is in my power to do justice to the role. My role (not the movie role) in the grand schema of things is minute. All I am doing is translating the script into action, while they are doing the creation, production, the logistics and everything else that's needed to bring it to life. That usually grounds me enough to put my hours in."

Now looking at these young actors that check into re-hab from time to time, why is it so hard for them to grasp their place in the world! Is it because they don't have the discipline? They don't have the clarity? They don't know what they are getting into? Are they not ready for life, for hard work, for success/failure roller coaster? or are they all blaming 'art' for their screwups.

Leave these actors alone for a minute. Take any regular guy, me for example. Why can't I handle success well? Or better, why can't I handle failure well? Is it already expected due to the previous successes in life, that success comes easy? Where in life do you see success coming easy? Where in life do you see any half-assed effort succeeding? Don't I have to put everything in my life into something, in order for it to be successful?

Take an exam in graduate school for example, or even in college. Didn't you work your asses off in order to get an A, or 90% or above? Didn't you do what ever it takes, night outs, group studies, getting extra material to cover all bases.. to give it an honest effort? Didn't you wanna do one better than the next guy to do better? When that was so obvious, why do we look for short-cuts in life? We know that we want to achieve something. But why don't we wanna do everything that we can to achieve that? Do we lose clarity with time? Are there too many things in our daily life that is some how making us dumb?

Now when was the last time that you went to an Exam unprepared and got an A? Going to an exam unprepared was unthinkable, wasn't it? When was it okay to not prepare for an exam? We killed ourselves to get those grades, didn't we? We say some guys have it easy. Really? Do you know of someone who has it consistently easy? Or is he or she projecting that, while they work their butts off behind the scenes? You've seen guys put on a facade that they really didn't work for it? that they don't deserve it or they were 'blessed'. Well there is an issue here. I can accept it if you say, you are blessed with a good height or good health (to an extent) or any other natural blessing. But I cannot accept it when someone says, I am blessed with a promotion. Unless they are actually saying I worked my ass off for a promotion and I am blessed that I am recognized for my hard work. Well you don't hear those things often.

Nonetheless, in order to achieve consistent success don't I have to address everything that needs to be addressed for something to be successful? Bottomline, there's only two reasons why you could actually fail. You either didn't prepare enough. Or you didn't perform as well as you should have. If you prepare and perform as well as you should for any darn thing, YOU CANNOT FAIL.

Now there can be a third variable. The result. What result are you expecting once you're done with your preparation and performance? Are you expecting supernatural results? If you are, then you're screwed. And the discussion is moot.

So Bottomline (the rock bottom this time), You match your Preparation (and research) and Performance with the expected Result, YOU CANNOT FAIL, PERIOD.

When it can be such a straightforward science, why is it so hard for people to accept it and succeed more? Well, there are some people who do. Accept it as a straightforward science and succeed more that is. I believe they are doing something else right. Prioritizing. Well there's a science I can never master so I won't go there.

Nevertheless, I started the whole thing with this big introduction to the word 'Resilience'. Now, I believe this is where the human factor comes in. Once we decided to put our failures behind, why can't we go back to the 'science' and achieve success thereafter? Why do the past failures affect our future success(es)? The 'Science' never included the past failures! It never said, Preparation + Performance - Past Failures = Expected Result. It doesn't even know about the past failures. If it does, it only ascribes them to a lack of preparation and/or a sloppy performance. So that's moot as well.

So there it is folks. The answer to some of my freaking questions, I suppose. In order to show my resilience in the midst of failures, all I have to do is ignore my lack of 'natural blessings', ignore 'bad timing' (now that's a loser's best friend), of course ignore "It's not meant to be" and OBEY (for the lack of a better word) the 'SCIENCE'.

For a real example of resilience, you should read about 'Matt Bigos' ( http://mattbigos.com ) who - in an accident lost all his movement below his chest; was told he would never ever walk again - came close to finishing an IronMan (triathlon) within 5 years after the accident.